Ey ups from Yorkshire fellow msereres or as I like to call me Sen msdebator ('s) on't eve of me first MRI scan of me canister (think that's cockney for heed trying to be multicultural and look well traveled) iv decided to make me first official post on shift. Just want to tell you all about my journey so far and as you can see waffle on about a load of utter ballax while I'm at it. So here we are it all started about a year ago to year and aiff (half) just decided I will translate while I go on as I type how tha talks in me native toung I woke up one morning with a weired left eye only way to describe it is having weired 3D glasses over it, the old school ones with the red and green lenses but not quite as severe. Being a typical bloke i cracked on wi it for a few months then had me ear bent b ball and chain (my lovely wife te be and mummy to my beautiful baby's) to go tet t'opticaltishnaristses they thought I was a loony and referred me to some dude who made me throw up my fecking Mac Donald's breakfast after pumping me blood with some yellow fluorescent shite made from jellyfish testicles or something (don't really think jellyfish have testicles so don't panic anyone I'm pulling tha plonkers not literally tho not my bag but each to there own) think he was called a optamalogiser in some eye place he mentioned MS at the time and I seem to remember thinking of Steven Hawking and shiteing my pants (not literally and I know that ms if different) but could find nowt (nothing) so I was sent away only to be called back to be told by some other geeza that it's maybe been caused by steroids from my inhaler (as I used to suffer from asthma before I started smoking when I was 15 which is bloody weired and I do not condone smoking it's shite I'm also 3 months smoke free) so I then sacked it off as a bad job they basically thought I was a nutcase I think so iv stuck with it for all this time with a smile on my face I decided to call this "phenomen" drum roll "terminator eye". Next up we have the next symptom (unbeknown to me at the time) followed a few months later by "lazy phookon foot syndrome" or "bored foot" where on a trip out with said wife t'be and screaming baby's and bored 5 year old I had to pull the car over and let wifey drive (a mans worse nightmare on a day out with the kids it's just not manly not that she's a bad driver at all I have to put that little disclaimer in there as she's sat right next to me as I type watching every move with her beautiful little but not weirdly little perfect eyes which when I stare into them makes me melt with the feeling of love and joy and also do a sex wee etc etc love you said wife te be (shit eating grins all round). Anyway this happened more frequently over the months that followed but with my "it be reet" attitude I soldierd on. Symptom number three started inbetween one and two so really it's 2 but forgot till now to add it in. This phase is most probably the most imbarrasing symptom to the meer mortal but not to me as I'm shameless and I mean that from the bottom of my little Yorkshire ticker, no really tho. This is the the needing to pee right then and there and if theres no toilets a bush will do or the seat of my car and even in my underclangers till it trickles into me brand new trainers. Tmi I know but as said no shame. The gush of a satisfying piss is no more. Rant incoming...oh how I long for a proper wee, a stand up pee that is, not a phooking SDP (sit down piss) that's so powerful it splashes off the rim onto my size 12 boyts (boots) and not a phooking pathetic trickle down me leg or a dribble into Percy the porcalin shite swallower. Jealous rant over sorry it's just the fact when your sat on a toilet listening to some fucker having a piss in a troff that could put out a fire a 50 miles away and for almost a year it gets to thee he he he Stage 4 next, as I always eventually do what my missis says to avoid being in the dog house (which we don't even own so I'd definitely freeze to death) the blood test for diabetes which is not there all clear and the somehow dodged finger up the arsehoyal prostate exam. never been so happy in all my life with that one ended up dodging that bullet somehow as if by magic my luck has come in for now instead it's a lower back MRI scan to check for sinister stuff and hoping it's just a trapped nerve. thankfully no sinister stuff was found so happy as a pig in its own poo. This is when I discovered nothing phases me anymore (I think I was so happy that I would not have to climb in my nesting box within a year this is what has spurred me on all the way through) but no trapped nerve anywhere to be seen so off we go to the next symptom with a few chuckles in between. Stage 5 of my journey to being a almost official msdebator comes the "jelly leg" wobbley legs, Shite balance, legs giving way at work and dragging my right leg around with me like iv been shot while desperately trying to dash for a piddle with a few instances of not being able to get off the floor at work (be at one with the floor people embracing the fact you have a excuse to lie down on the job can't be a bad thing it's a positive use it to your advantage). having to use a disused pushchair to get off the floor of the street while everyone passing by just thinks your completely bollocksed I do suggest not adding a few "arse" and "fecks" while your trying to get back to your feet and giggling away this only cements people's view that you're shitfaced. Even after falling onto your best mates car bonnet while he looks at you in disgust shaking his head At the fact you should have gone to hospital weeks ago everyone has been nattering and nagging you but in your silly head well mine your still "reet" then one day the wife pipes up again lovely as she is and says in her beautiful little accent "get thee Sen tet doctors you handsome bastard and il let you smother me in chocolate spread" or at least that's what I heard she now says not while waving her hand in disgust it's apparently all a figment of my imagination which is most probably correct and I'm quite certain it is so but I prefer my version of events. Anyway GP says maybe MS (marks and Spencer's I like to call it to make light of it and keep myself sain as possible) then I needed to see the neurologist who was a awsome polish lass who asked me if she can see my tummy and kept poking my legs with some plastic thing oh she also kept asking me to pull her finger. me being me with the mental capacity of a 2 year old found this hilarious of course and the missis too. By this time I was expecting MS and she confirmed "probable MS" diagnosis 3 days before crimbo. merry fin Christmas to thee and btw your now disabled too can't drive a manual car etc etc. That's it so far now I now await the results from my second MRI scan this time it's a head and full spine one. I'm now convinced it is MS 99% certain in fact so won't be shocked when the neuro says it is. Iv had time to plan for the future and even look at disablist contraptions that I need now and most probably will need in the future I'm ready for it and anything it throws at me I will tackle head on with mostly my sense of humour and my stupid grin. A message for those of you that have not fallen asleep yet reading the mad ramblings of a crazy Yorkshireman. Live your lives, love and laugh often keep plodding on (rolling don't want to miss anyone out) with a smile on your faces and your middle finger in the air. I'd just like to say fuck you MS, fuck you right in the eye I'm going to live with you and embrace you and at the same fight you. You might take my legs away and make me piss in my pants but you'll never take my freedommm!!!!! Think some hairy Scottish dude in a dress said that once it's what I repeat to myself everyday that and hum the rocky theme tune "getting stronger" you know the one if not YouTube it ffs it's what t'interwebnets for that and watching ahem "John Wayne films". Anyway life's what you make it stay positive smile and Laff at yourself set goals no matter how small they are and get the blinkers on never look back and crack on wi it. Sponsored advert Newly almost diagnosed Yorkshireman might as well be diagnosed it's just his luck seeks new bladder will pay in kindness as phooking skint also requires a new walking stick that's does not look bloomin sh*te also requires a new car that he can drive with some sort or buttony things instead of pedals as can only safely use one leg???? A winning lottery ticket, new house and il keep my terminator eye as iv grown quite fond of it makes me feel speshil iv got something no one else has apparently and it's a marvel of science for now anyway lol.