Last reply 3 months ago
I'n new here – Poor me ???

Hi all,
I’m Libbie, I was diagnosed with PPMS one year ago and since that life changing day, I have become almost a recluse.
I get up , come through to the lounge and sit and watch TV until I go back to bed.
This time last year nobody would know there was anything wrong with me apart from slight staggering and looking a little bit drunk.
In the past few months however things are steadily getting worse.
My left leg gets numb as does my left arm and my fingers tingle.

Realising that I must exercise , I have bought a spin bike and try to do squats and general ‘keep fit’ things.
I have become more depressed and have anxiety which is through the roof. My husband is terrific but works long hours as a chef which is almost lucky for him as I’m a bad tempered self absorbed nasty b*tch.
I’ve kept my diagnosis to myself and have only told immediate family and 2 friends.

I have also realised that even trying to reach out on here, I have started every sentence with I ,, (sorry)
It would be great to get in touch with people in this MS ‘Club’ although know I don’t come across as a person anyone would want to become friends with, I actually am quite nice.

Fingers crossed for any potential buddies out there ,

Thank you and sorry again for the moaning,
Libbie

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ruggermad
3 months ago

Hi @libbie_stokes

Just wanted to welcome you here.

Being diagnosed with MS is very tough to take. You sound as though you are going through a sitaution in which many of us on here have ourselves gone through. I am now coming up to 5 years living with the MonSter but I have learn’t how to live with the condition and not to get to down about it.

i’m sure you will find great support on the site and everyone seems to be very friendly.

🙂


libbie_stokes
3 months ago

Thank you ruggermad
x


petlamb
3 months ago

Hi @libbie_stokes 👋 and a very big welcome to this great site!

No need to say any more. I hear you. Friend request sent. Any time you want to chat, rant, vent, moan, laugh ’til you cry or just cry . . . . I’m here. Talk to me. When you’re ready – I’ll be waiting to talk with you and we can share thoughts and hopefully take a little of the pressure and stress away.

BTW, don’t apologise for the moaning – we all do that on here. It’s a normal reaction to having our lives turned upside down and inside out.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Suze 😊


libbie_stokes
3 months ago

Thank you Suze,
You may be sorry you invited me to moan and vent but I’m glad you did. I could moan for Scotland so beware lol,
I’m also always available to listen to you as it apears that I am not actually alone on this B*stard journey x
Libbie x


petlamb
3 months ago

Hey Libbie, @libbie_stokes – LOL! That’s the spirit. You moan for Scotland and I’ll moan for England! No, it’ll help us both if we have a good old rant and moan, I’m sure. A problem shared is a problem halved, so they say. Anything to try and lighten the load a little.

I’m like you – stuck in the house, but I’m on Twitter / news channels, etc during the daytime and I watch TV in the evening. However, I have to use subtitles because my hearing is so bad.

Hope you have a good Friday evening, make the most of it.

From your friend and fellow recluse, 😏

Suze
x


Anonymous
3 months ago

Sounds like we have the same job @libbie_stokes 🤗


libbie_stokes
3 months ago

Such a bloody demanding job Dave especially if it involves drying my hair, {need a sit down after such a strenuous activity)
Lol


libbie_stokes
3 months ago

Not exactly 9-5


highlander
3 months ago

@libbie_stokes
You’ve got to go some to beat me and @rotherhamdave at moaning 😀
You have to earn it🤭
We’ll soon bring you up to speed 🤗

In the mean time tell Ben te come ben, if Ben doseny come ben, tell Ben I’ll be ben to bring Ben ben.
Greetings fellow Annie fan!


Anonymous
3 months ago

Tek no notice of @highlander. I don’t moan 😉


libbie_stokes
3 months ago

My pal is just about to arrive to take me to the cinema so I need to go ‘ben’ the kitchen tae get my’ jaikit’ lol


Anonymous
3 months ago

@libbie_stokes
Thinking about getting up is strenuous lol


briget_phillips
3 months ago

It is definitely difficult to accept the diagnosis and then not too long after to find you are not able to be the person who you have been your entire life. I have to say being less “strong willed” and allowing others to help has been my biggest challenge along with becoming a different version of me… I totally understand the anger and frustration that comes from everything we deal with on a daily basis however if I have learned anything from all this, it is to take all those negative emotions and use them to fight. Fight to be a better you every day and there is nothing more that you can do.


libbie_stokes
3 months ago

You have a very good attitude Bridget, I am just a dedicated moaner – and have perfected the art unlike putting my shoes on x


libbie_stokes
3 months ago

Anyone else bruised by walking into that ‘new’ wall that’s actually always been there ? Can’t just be me and ‘petlamb’ surely ?


stumbler
3 months ago

@libbie_stokes , it’s that wall that sits by the mat that jumps up to 6″ in height when you try and walk over it!


rivka
3 months ago

@libbie_stokes, you have those walls in your place, too? I blame it on a gravity shift of the universe that sends the wall towards me then retreats. These walls are very sneaky too. No one else gets face whacked by them but me. 🤔
Yes it’s a full time job too, to do so little all day yet be so exhausted from doing it. Right now I’m resting on my bed, gathering enough energy to shower. Any moment now…..we’ll, maybe later…wait, do I need that shower?


watsoncraig
3 months ago

Hi Libbie,it’s the floors you need to watch our for as they are vindictive sons of birches. But being from the wrong side of the water things may be different


libbie_stokes
3 months ago

Oh yes the phantom floor which, like the garden path is covered with assassins trip wires just to remind us all who is actually controlling the Sunday morning walk (or shuffle ) . You know you have “made it “if you are offered table service in Starbucks! Impressive stuff Craig ! Lol x


kelly_hornick
3 months ago

Hello Libbie,

It can be very difficult when first diagnosed. The anxiety and depression are unreal. I’m not saying it completely goes away but it will get better. I know it’s difficult but you have to try to get up and get out of your house every day. If not it will just get worse. Even if it’s just to sit on the porch. Removing yourself from your space helps. Have a calendar and write something in each day whether it’s taking a shower, doing the dishes, going for a small walk, going to get groceries(Urg… I find this task the worst) visiting a friend etc. So when you go to bed you can see what you have done. Sometimes I will write it on a list in a book. Having MS sucks. The smallest chore can feel like you’re climbing be biggest mountain. But don’t become your MS. Don’t let it consume you. You are so much more than it. Of course we all have days that we break down, but don’t let those days turn into weeks and turn into months. I will have moments where I yell at my legs to just work normally… but then this is my normal… unfortunately… and we have to work with what we got.
Glad you’re going to get out with your friend. It helps. Please feel free to message me if you need to vent. Venting always helps. Whether on here or in a journal. Keep moving the more you sit the more your muscles will deplete making things worse.

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