Lengthy post. So, if you don't stick around I understand. I am in the process of being diagnosed. Meaning, I haven't done the lumbar puncture yet but I know what the results will yield. Seeing as I have every symptom in the book. Even the more rarefied ones. Lucky me. I have had symptoms since last September. I'll never forget it. It happened so suddenly. Overnight my whole world shattered. I have tried to remain calm since then. I felt off while playing poker with my cigar buddies and excused myself from the game that Thursday night. The very next day (Friday) I was in the gym working out my favorite body part legs. When all the sudden my whole lower half went numb. I thought I pulled something, so I continued on finishing my work out. When I sat down in the locker room my legs were as red as a lobster. I thought that was odd. After the workout the numbness went away so I thought nothing of it. Assuming it wasn't anything major just pulled the wrong way during a particular movement. Nothing occurred outside of that during that day. Once 3 a.m. rolled around though I woke up suddenly to a numbness that washed over me like a waterfall from head to toe and I felt my breath leave me briefly. I felt rubbery and it was hard to speak. I immediately rushed to the ER. There they tested me and ran all kinds of tests. Blood tests, Urine tests, physical tests. They came back with nothing. No explanation as to why I am experiencing what I am feeling. That is when I demanded to see the head ER doctor. This guy walks into the room sits down on the table and looks at me with a questionable gaze. He looks up at me and says "I don't know what you want from me, you're a healthy young 26 year old male. Everything came back negative. No diabetes, no stress, nothing. I don't know what you want me to do." I told him I demanded answers. That I wasn't leaving until he gave me at least something to go on. I tole him you just don't wake up numb one day and lose feeling in nearly all your body overnight. He said" The only thing I can tell you is that it's one of two things. It is either Guillain-Barré or MS. So he said let me check your reflexes. So I obliged. He tested them, I passed with flying colors. He then ruled out Guillain-Barré. So it left me with one option MS. So, I asked him to test for that. He took a 3-inch hypodermic needle and started poking me all over asking me if it felt sharp. To which I replied no. He said it was odd but sent me home anyway. Long story short, the very next day I had my first exacerbation in the middle of the mall and was rushed back to the same hospital and had an MRI and the doc telling me there was a questionable spot on my T2 section of my white matter of my brain. About 2 years ago I relocated from Ohio to Dallas Texas in search of a new life. Looking to get out from underneath an abusive relationship with my family. They've never supported me in any faction of my life. I have always been the black swan so to speak. The rebel without a cause. Pushing limits, trying new things, going on adventures & seeking risks is how I lived life. I have always been a firm believer that life should be experienced first hand not vicariously. I loved new experiences and meeting new people in new places. One of my greatest joys of life is traveling and getting cultured. Anyway, I was enjoying my new life in my new found home in Dallas and taken quite nicely to the state itself. I loved the people and the experiences that they brought along with them. I found my self well suited in this new town and grown quite fond of it as it grew quite fond of me. I have finally in my 25 years of existence on this planet found myself happy as I have ever been in my life. I have gotten away from my ill-gotten family that appreciates nothing and only complains about everything. I love life in its very essence. I appreciated everything I have ever experienced. On multiple occasions I have lost everything outside of my health and had nothing to my name. Not even a home. Which was okay. Homelessness is not that bad when you have been through it a couple times. I have always had the mentality that if I still had my health and my mind, I could conquer anything that came my way. I have found my way out of those situations and was doing quite okay for myself since the relo. I have built up a life for myself here in my new found home and was enjoying every bit of it. I have friends that have become family and I am proud to say it. I have made some very bold moves in my career and I was starting to align things to build my dream life. The one I have always seen in my head as a kid. The one everyone wants to have. You know the one, exorbitant amounts of money, freedom to travel, big house, nice cars. Freedom to come and go as you please. I busted my ass for this and wasn't going to let anything get in my way. I have made several plays. I was mentoring and being mentored by guys that made massive amounts of liquidity. I am talking mid 9-figures ($500-$700 million) to their name. Captains of industries type. What I have always dreamed of being. I finally felt as if I was on the right path in life and had enough belief in myself and my abilities that I too could become like them. I have always wanted that for myself and my family even through the bullshit they put me through. I have finally found the right course in my life to achieve the only dream I have ever had since I was a child. I have never wanted anything as badly as this in my life. Like Michael Jordan was born to play basketball, I was born to do this. I couldn't tell you how many financial reports I have read since I have been 7 years old. Every day since then I have read about all the greats in business and emulated them. Studied them until my eyes bled. I idolized all the billionaires like people idolize sports figures. People who changed the status quo of the world is who I wanted to surround myself with. Gates, Buffet, Bezos, Branson, Zuckerberg. All those guys I have studied them to a T to better understand how they did it so I could change the world too. I longed to be a mover and a shaker like them. Change the world drastically for the better. Long story short... This bullshit happened and drastically changed my life. Forever. My odds to never get this disease were in my favor. To lead and exceedingly full and happy life doing what I love and do best. But I can't do that anymore. I had to recant my position in a possible 9-figure deal ($100 Million+) at 26 years old and sell out my position in my buddies company. Costing me my dreams and nearly costing me a friendship. Luckily he was sincere. This fucking disease cost me everything I held sacred in my life. I have lost my characteristics that made me who I was. I was a type A personality guy that demanded respect when I walked in the room. Lead groups of people. Always saw the good in people and cultivated future leaders. My dreams gone that's all I ever wanted in my life is to be great and go down in the history books as one of the one's who changed the world for the better. To put it to you all who decide to read this, it's as if Michael could never get the chance to play ball or Einstein not being allowed the chance to push theoretical physics to new limits. It's on that magnitude. I ate, slept & breathed business day in and day out. To have it stripped from me along with my mind and body is a death sentence to me. If Beethoven couldn't play music, would he still be Beethoven? There is no more rope left for me. If there was, I would most assuredly hang myself with it knowing what is coming down the pipeline. I have nothing left to live for at all. I am not the kind of person that can just go do something else with my life. That's like asking Tiger Woods to go play football. It just doesn't work for us. So my question is to you all through all is this. Knowing what this disease does to an individual that has it. How do you get up everyday and face the world after loosing everything that you identify with? Because I can't fathom a world in which I can't become what I want to become. I just can't do it. That's the whole point of living is to become what you most identify with. Not just to eat, shit, sleep and then die. I can't do that. It's not in my DNA. So please if you make it through this post let me know. Because I currently don't have an answer.