Yup, been there and I'm still wearing the t-shirt. My wife lost her ability to work 12 years ago to a weird lung disease that took forever to diagnose. Like MS, it's progressive and degenerative, so things are always changing. Recently she's been the strong one but we try to take turns. Sometimes we're both FUBARed at once, but we're blessed with good neighbors who help with stuff like snow removal and lawn maintenance. We keep the freezer full of food so we can skip shopping for weeks at a time if need be. For me the turning point was when I finally gave myself permission to be less than I thought I needed to be. That was tough, although it did show me that my wife was nowhere near as fragile as I had thought her to be. Maybe your husband will prove to be the same, after all, MS shows us that the human brain is pretty incredible when it comes to healing itself. Do you catastrophize? I used to and it made changing anything, even the things that needed to be changed, impossible. Now I just have faith in me. Somehow I made it to this point in life and I know that somehow I'll make it for the next 20 years (or 14 - if the actuarial table is right ;-) ). @MnCpalmer, you're obviously smart and resourceful, so any faith you place in yourself will not be misplaced. You're tough, you're husband is tough, and I always bet on smart, resourceful, tough people. Please thank your hubby for his service for my wife and I.

@NeedMoreSleep , thank you for the kind words. I know we will get through this, just hard sometimes. I love that I found this place, it helps me to get what’s on my brain out without putting it on my family. Sometimes I just need to vent. I’ll keep you and your wife in my thoughts and prayers.