Starting anew?
I’m struggling at the moment. As we went into lockdown, my partner of 11 years decided to tell me he effing hates living with me and dumped me, the same week as I had to have my 19 year old dog put to sleep.
He knew from the outset of the relationship that I had ms and it is a degenerative disease. I know in the 11 years my ms has progressively become worse.
I no longer work, something which he encouraged me to do, I can no longer drive as my vision is effected and I can’t do as much around the house as I used to be able to do.
He has even turned around and said he is an unpaid carer!
Since then we have been stuck living in the same house, pretty much in the same situation and I feel really ill because of it. My ms is flaring, I know it’s because of all the anxiety but I cannot do anything about it for the moment.
I used to live in Wakefield, I had my own house (and mortgage). Five years ago he changing jobs and asked if I would move to Retford and buy a new house with him, which I did. I traded my house in towards the deposit for the new house.
I started Lemtrada last year, in April 2019, just as I had a really bad relapse and instead of being a five day outpatient I was in hospital for the whole of April. I lost the use of my right side (I’m right handed and struggle to write anymore).
I was diagnosed in May 2020 with postural hypotension and then hypothyroidism, yet more meds.
I now find myself without a home, he is buying me out of my share but it’s not enough to now buy another house, especially as I am unable to apply for a new mortgage as I am not working.
I feel I have no idea what is going to happen, or where I am going to live or even when I’m going to be able to move anywhere.
I today spoke with my ms nurse as I feel events are spiralling out of control and my ms is really hitting me hard. She agreed it is stress related (I hate the term stress, but can’t find another word more fitting).
I would normally apologise and say I’m sorry for venting so much, but I don’t know where else to turn, I don’t know who else would be in a position to understand.
@rachel_hilton_1 , I am sorry that you are having to go through all this. It sounds like your relationship may have been floundering for some time, which must have been having an impact on your MS. It might seem like your world is crumbling now, but this will pass and the sunshine will return. Do you have any family, e.g. siblings, who may be able to help you find your feet? Stay strong.
@rachel_hilton_1 Oh darlin And there’s me waffling on about me mollusks ... Honeybunch you are better off without that weak coward, I am sending a big supportive hug to you and will try and help with my wacky Scouse advice (It will make you laugh if nothing else!? Anyway… It’s better you find out now chick - I learnt that the very very hard way I know in moments of panic I counsel myself, ‘ if in doubt - do nothing and distract yourself until the answer appears . and it will The solution will appear once you feel calmer, have faith – even if it is blind at the moment Soooo.... First-Were you were told that by taking Lemtrada, you-ran a significant risk of hyperthyroidism? (I’ve heard this too many times lately); but at this moment that isn’t your biggest issue ... So...Why a mortgage? They are so over rated As is owning your own house (Especially if you want a council house and council care - which I would go for... so you can use the money from the house for a cleaner, regular helper, a massage, a spanky walking stick/rollator/indoor/ outdoor scooters, the occasional dominoes/massage... Ask him to give you what he actually owes you - or what you lost on your house; half the cost of moving back to Wakefield It’s his (v stupid shortsighted) decision to split up; you can’t work at the moment and don’t know when you will be able to...so he is going to have to fairly compensate you and if he doesn’t; then a lawyer will waste years and thousands of his money proving him wrong And tell him that. Regain your equilibrium sista Tell him he is going to have to pay rent for the foreseeable on a nice little bungalow or ground floor flat in Wakefield because his has caused this and therefore if he wants to get rid of you; that’s what he must do. Get on the housing list in Wakefield now , and with any luck you will get somewhere suitable to live from them soon. Especially when they hear of your circumstances. When you finally do sort the house... - is he buying you out? ....Then don’t give that man another thought Think instead of the things and people that make you happy The sad reality is that you are going to have to rely and depend on no one but yourself (again, learnt that the hard way) ...And then everythin and everyone is a pleasant surprise, And if he becomes unbearable? change the locks Possession is 9/10 of the law after all....he should have thought this through tut tut (crafty clever birds get MS too ...and they like to try and help birds like you...) Success is the best revenge honeybunch - nearly time to get those big girl pants on(After you have spent a whole day eating junk food, crying and watching Netflix of course) You got this I/we are right behind you (Former Mermaidy11 back for now (just been busy havin big time heart probs - but I made it!)