I am 41, I was diagnosed with MS 11 years ago. I suffer alot with depression as I score high in having Adverse Childhood experiences (abuse etc.). I go to therapy. I've found the last 1.5yrs incredibly difficult. I have now lost all my family as my father died a yr and a half ago. My brother was killed in a Traffic accident 11 yrs ago and my mother died when I was 14. Familywise I have great support from a lady who is like a mum to me, she is 77 and has Atrial Fibrillation and is a cancer survivor. I've been v lucky to have her in my life and I feel like a burden at times but of course she says she never sees me this way. I have been losing my friends or else they have been distancing themselves from me. I got upset one day and the final friend I had that I met and did stuff (walk, theatre etc ) with on a regular basis just cut me off. I really miss having someone to do stuff with and meet regularly. I really miss her children too. I call to one friend some weekends who also is prone to depression and apart from her and my relative, I feel I have noone else. This friend also has lost both parents and a brother. I have a few friends in other counties but feel they r only still my friends because I hardly ever see them or are in contact with them. I feel chronic loneliness and it's hard to know people don't want to be around me. I worry that when my relative dies that I'll have noone. I know I can be intense and can be difficult to be around. When someone is there I feel like ivy, clinging to them for support/love and can end up suffocating them. This sense of isolation hurts like hell. I feel incredibly alone. I feel I isolate myself more for fear of rejection. The relationships I've had with men when I was younger 18-23 were more abusive than anything. I dated alot but only had 1 further romantic relationship since I was 23 a couple of years ago that only lasted about 6 mths which I ended. Does anyone feel these difficulties with depression and relationships?... Sorry the post is so long and heavy