Hey guys, I kind of just use this platform for so many different reasons but it helps me most with processing my feelings and life. I just graduated a month ago ish and was diagnosed with rrms last october. It's been a rollercoaster to say the least with getting diagnosed senior year of college and having to quit my internship (and having the same person who hired me to be my professor and see me at my best and worst in one year). ANYWAYS, I found a passion for the place I was interning at (despite all of the negative and pessimistic comments from the professor/ex boss and my peers, sometimes even family)... I was almost about to give up on it but I applied for a position online for this specific type of work (environmental graphic design), and the interview went really well. I felt like everything I worked toward (with my experience in the real world and school) helped me get to this stage. My interview was even coincidentally scheduled the same day as my infusion appointment which I has already taken off from my current side job from. SO here I was thinking everything lined up so well and went greatly and I was going to begin a new path. BUT I did so bad on a design assessment and panicked and my brain went all fuzzy. I'm not sure if this is because it's time for my next infusion appointment and my body and brain are disconnected or what, BUT IT BROKE ME. I have been having really negative thoughts and I'm stuck in a exhausting side job which is not even paying alot. I just graduated and I feel like a newborn baby. This is so much to go through at such a young age and I just want to give up. especially after almost reaching my goal and the worst part is I was excited for this new opportunity because it was a comapny with a great work life balance and a flexibile schedule which is all I was looking for. It just happened to be a bonus that it was a design job I am particularly passionate for. I am considering emailing the hiring manager and asking about what I could improve on but I feel so ashamed because I turned in not my best work at all. I am so tired.