I imagine this will read odd to some, but I have had a night of reflection, so it resonates with me at the minute. I was only diagnosed at the back end of last year (37, m), it didn't really hit me that hard. It was/had been expected for like, 10 years or so. Only by myself mind, I have a cousin with it so always feared the worse when optic neuritis flared up. It's not like I had an horrendous experience chasing things up. I have found, ever increasingly it seems, that I can't do what I could as well as I thought I could. I don't have children so I don't feel the guilt some people do about letting them down. It's purely selfish. I am very frustrated that I can't, for example, go out on the lash or walk aimlessly around for hours, smoking (I have given up the fags to be fair). Like I said, I don't have children and had an absolutely amazing run of pure indulgence. I just miss the past and resent the enforced change. I don't know if it's self pity affecting me, or the fact I'm getting old and broken now? I like to think I've taken a very positive approach to it all, changed my diet, lifestyle etc (might be "too little, too late" but that's by the by). I just feel all a bit meh. I feel a bit like I've been forced to "adult". I'm not looking for sympathy or a telling off. Just wondered if anyone had advice regarding the resentment and enforcement. Cheers. Have a cosmic weekend.