I shouldn’t be nervous but I am. I have a neuro appointment in two hours. I was CIS for years. My last MRI before this new one was five years ago (this showed numerous lesions) I had had mild symptoms for nearly 9 years off and on. But starting late this summer I started getting worse. Dizziness, left side weakness, eye pain, double vision etc… so decided I should call and make an appointment. My neurologist before had wanted me to follow up two years after my last mri, but life got in the way ( or I let it). Anyway, to get to the point, I had new mri two weeks ago. My original appointment was for end of December with neuro, however they called me a few days after my mri and said they are bumping up my appointment ( this is at an MS neurology center) and want to see me much sooner. So today I go in. The nurse sounded so serious on the phone, she didn’t even giggle when I was trying to be a bit funny in my response. I had already read online my new mri notes, so wasn’t surprised. They listed numerous new lesions and changes in brain. So I flat out asked her what this means, and she said since I already suspect, “this means he will be bumping you up to MS from CIS”. So while this is not surprising, and somewhat of a relief to know, I can’t help my myself from feeling anxious. I’ve been researching and reading all I can to educate myself on medicine used in ms, but that isn’t what makes me nervous. It’s that I’ve always been the silent patient who doesn’t complain to my loved ones about anything I’m feeling. I also do not like feeling vulnerable. I know I should shed the tough girl exterior, but it’s my defense mechanism. I have a husband who is supportive, he wants to be a part of things. So I know I am fortunate, but I still dread the attention. I have two daughters, 20 & 17. They’ve heard me talk ms things before, but not seriously. My 20 year old has extreme health anxiety of her own, so I wish I didn’t have to tell them. I refuse to tell my mother, she is not in my life, and my father I’ll eventually tell. But since I don’t work, that just leaves my husbands side of family ( groan). So my rambling is just nerves. Please forgive my weakness. I didn’t expect to feel this nervous. I’m not afraid of physical ms. Just the emotional side.