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Feeling very alone...

Haven't posted for a little while but I feel I need to get things off my chest. I've started my Avonex now and due my third dose tomorrow. However I see my consultant on Thursday as I am being switched to tysabri due to having highly active RRMS. I'm suffering yet another relapse, my left side from under my arm is totally numb and have an awful stabbing pain under my armpit and in my shoulder blade. I saw my nurse last week and I just got the usual "I'll make a note of your symptoms". I'm in pain, and it's getting worse. I'm still off work (nearly 4 months now) with no end in sight. I go down to half pay in August and I'm scared...MS has thrown my already crazy life into a downright dizzying hell. I don't feel like I know how to cope. Do I ignore it? Embrace it? Kick it's sorry arse?!! I just want to scream and have a full blown tantrum. I hate what this has done to my body and my life. Please excuse the rant but I feel safe doing it here and that you'll understand.x