@Doing this alone on Shift.ms

Doing this alone

Hi everyone, I've just joined the forum and I was officially diagnosed with MS 5 weeks ago after 18 months of being told I "might have MS" and gradually going downhill over several years. The thing I'm finding hardest about it all is how alone I am, I have no support network. I don't have a very supportive family and I live hundreds of miles away from all of them for my own sanity. My friendships have also dwindled away over the last few years - I used to party hard and almost all of my socialising was done in that environment, then as I gradually became more unwell I couldn't keep up with it anymore. When I stopped going out people lost interest in being friends with me. Their lifestyle is their priority, and it's as if most of them just can't be bothered to make an effort with someone like me who doesn't fit into it anymore. I feel like I was friends with the wrong kind of people for years anyway, people can be so fake in those sorts of circles and there was always so much falling out, drama and backstabbing anyway. When I see or hear about any of it I honestly feel relieved to be away from it. I started to outgrow it all before I even became unwell to be honest. Right now I just feel so lost and lonely and I can't go on like this forever. It's like I need to rebuild my life with MS but I don't know how, especially when I have really bad social anxiety which is getting worse from being alone for so long.

Hello @jacob, I have great respect for you being able to evaluate yourself and your life so well. It sounds like you are a pretty resilient character, which is a great head start. Going through diagnosis is a pretty grim journey, even if you do have a strong support network. Believe me! On top of that, we are all facing the repercussions of Covid and everything that that's meant for the last 18 months. So, first things; you won't be going on like this for ever and ever. I'm older than you (by far!) but I've undergone a complete life rebuild since being diagnosed four years ago, and my life is unrecognisable now and oh so much better. Most people here would tell you that it probably takes a year to fully absorb diagnosis and go through all the associated stages, as you do with grief. Getting on to Ocrevus is a great start; the newest, shiniest medication there is available, so big tick. Another bit of advice would be not to make any big decisions for now. These things will begin to formulate but for now, you need to focus on recovery in every way. You could consider counselling as an option; go through your GP or via MS Society website. And on that, avoid Googling, only use official sites for info. I too have social anxiety for the first time EVER and that's a result of WFH for 18 months. everyone here on Shift has been where you are now. And Goths are very welcome! Don't invest too much time thinking/fearing for the future for now. Focus on this day, and you've made a great start by reaching out x