Pushing Through Fatigue & Pain
I am not sure if this will make any sense, but I was recently diagnosed with MS in December last year....so all this is very new to me.
I get so tired easily when I physically move my body. I have terrible brain fog which makes working hard. My hands and my back hurts all of the time.
I sit in the house some days. I'm unable to clean or go for a walk because I'm in more pain as soon as I start to move and I get tired super easily. Unable to work because my brain feels like it's broken and replying to an email seems like climbing a mountain. I can't read or watch tv because I can't concentrate.
I feel so depressed and useless.
Sometimes I wonder if I am depressed and that is part of my tiredness, pain and brain fog. Sometimes I wonder if I just overthink and sit, and feel sorry for myself, which makes my problems seem worse than they are.
I guess the point that I'm trying to make is, I'm wondering whether I should try to push through the tiredness and the pain and the brain fog because if I got more done, then I would feel that I at least had a purpose, I might feel less depressed and then some of my symptoms may decrease.
I am a typical Taurus, and I am well known for my fierce independence and stubbornness. Maybe if I really push myself, my willpower and stubbornness would be enough to fight my MS and I would live more of a life, or it could completely knacker up my body and make me feel worse...
This just isn't fair! I am only 41. I have three kids and I run my own business. I don't even mind the pain....it's just the brain fog and feeling exhausted all the time.
I drove two of my kids to the cinema yesterday, then we went to Taco Bell for a bit of dinner and nipped into Primark. I walked in the house, sat down and slept for 3 hours. I woke up this morning and my body aches like I did WAY too much yesterday. But I bearly did anything :(
Does that even make sense? :D
@ChiMum Have you spoken to your MS healthcare professionals/GP about any of your symptoms. There are drugs available to help with everything you have mentioned, however you need to let people know so they can help you. This disease is new to you, as it was for all of us, so you are going through a period where you need to get used to your MS. Deal with each symptom separately, what causes you the most concern? Pain, fatigue/brain fog, depression? Take one, talk to someone about it and see what can be done. You may find that by dealing with one symptom, it helps another. Don't push through anything. Take small steps and stop beating yourself up for not doing what you used to be able to do. I was 42, a single mum looking after two small kids by myself, whilst holding down a full time job when I was diagnosed. Yes, life is shit but if it was easy, it would be boring.
@AndreaG That is great advice. I am just too scared to ask for help from my GP. One of my kids is severely dyslexic and my other sons has aspergers. The last time that I took one of my kids to the doctors a few years ago with depression, they did absolutely nothing to help. They said that they would have a think about what to do and then called social services who knocked on my door a few days later. I am worried that if I tell my GP that I am struggling, then they will get social services involved again. The last time they were involved with us for about 10 months before. They finally wrote this off as there was nothing for them to get involved with, but it's really not my confidence as a mum. It was humiliating, especially when they went to my kids school and talked to my children about what life is like at home and what mummy and daddy are like. What I did to the humiliation is that I was and still am a school governor at that school and social services for asking the headmaster, who I am very good friends with what kind of parent I am. Even thinking about it now makes me feel physically sick :( I am going to give it a few months, see how I get on with Kesimpta and hopefully I will start to feel a little better. I am on Gabapentin for my constant finger and hand pain, but it doesn't help much.