I got back from holiday 5 days ago. My husband went back to work yesterday so that felt like my first proper day back into my new normal routine. My holiday in the UK went well. My shoulder still really hurts but I have an ultrasound next Tuesday. My back really hurts too, but I think I’m just going to have to crack on with things. I ended up driving my dad to hospital and I sitting there for two hours two days before we came home because he has COPD and developed a chest infection. I decided past, I was on holiday that I couldn’t sit at home anymore. My self-employed business currently consists of zero clients, and I just don’t have the passion to build it up again. I have started applying for jobs which is bizarre after working for myself for 15 years :D I honestly don’t know if I could even hold down a job, but I need to try. Since losing my business, I have felt really depressed, isolated my confidence has dropped tremendously. Most days I struggled to leave the house. I’ve decided that I can’t sit around and wait to see if I get worse. I just need to live my life. Even though I had my third relapse in 12 months in May, I had an MRI on Tuesday this week and they were no new lesions and the lesions that I have aren’t currently active. I’m only 42, I’m on Kesimpta and I’m getting a checkup with my neurologist and three MRIs a year. I can’t keep sitting around just in case I have another relapse. I’ve got to find a way to stop living my life as a person struggling with MS. I’m trying to see past the fatigue, the brain fog and the pain I just live my life as much as I can. I’ve also started studying from home towards an AAT qualification to try and force my brain to work. If I keep staying at home cleaning, watching tv and drinking coffee with my friends or mum, then I will completely lose myself - not to mention my mind :D