@Cam0493

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Cam0493

Relationships

It might have been talked about but I'm married and to start with he was great but now he's not interested and even had 2 affairs. The thing he's staid he needed to get away the first time. The second which I think he's still doing or yet another he really wants nothing to do with me and sleeps downstairs. He talks like dirt to me and the kids have started to do the same. All I get is I talk like that to everyone and I should leave. He won't and I feel so fed up because he's told me nobody will want me. He says it me since I've got MS.

Vicky2826

@Vicky2826

That sounds horrible chick. Hope you got some more friends or family around you that can help. It's easy for people to say leave but don't let him treat you like dirt you are worth more than that sending lots of love x x

Cam0493

@Cam0493

My mum has been great but she has just been told she has Cancer. I took him back the first time, if it was and he said he'd never do it again and was really trying and said he'd never leave me. But After about 6-8 months I thought he was doing it again but told it was in my head again. Just before Christmas he stayed out 2 nights. When I said where you been he said you know. I really even now love him but I can't do this any more because I feel I'd be better off in the long run even if at first it'll hurt like hell if be better off with out him.

Stumbler

@Stumbler

Stories like this make me embarrassed to be a man! How old are your children? It's really unfair that they're being taught this horrific attitude. It sounds like the marriage may be dead, so you need to protect yourself and understand where you stand. Is it worth consulting Citizen's Advice to discuss your options? Alternatively, these people, http://www.dls.org.uk/ , may be able to help you. By the way, you're far from being "damaged goods". Us MSers have been given an opportunity to reappraise our lives, to understand what is, and is not, really important in life. We're more rounded individuals as a result. You're still capable of loving and being loved.......

Lina

@Lina

Its awful how old are your children when I was in hospital for 2 weeks everything was done for me now I'm back home we don't talk about MS I've got to the stage where I want to run away and live on my own my kids are 20 and 22 and my daughter is at uni I would'nt put up with it pack his bags and tell him to go it will hurt but you need to put yourself first and the kids Lina x

Vicky2826

@Vicky2826

@Cam0493 Oh no chick sorry to hear about your mom sending lots of love. You are worth more that Hun I know it's easier said than done but you would be better off without him. Life is too short you need to be happy. Only you can decide Hun maybe have a good chat together and see where you go from there. Hope you will be happy in whatever you decide lots of love x x

Cam0493

@Cam0493

My kids are 17, 12 and 10. He will not talk we just end up shout or I do and then he runs off and out all night.

Vicky2826

@Vicky2826

@Cam0493 if he won't talk maybe it's time to get yourself out Hun. I know easier said than done but with your MS u need someone there for you. Hope u have friends who you can have a good natter to to try and help you. We on here are here for you lots of love x c

Lina

@Lina

@Cam0493 I agree with everyone you need to get out of this relationship Years old I found out my hubby was staying out all night and chatting to someone online and texting someone as I was tired due to working and sorting out kids so going to bed early all the time so when I found out told him I'd been in touch with council about a house and he said you can keep our house and I said no that he could have the kids and I would have them at week end he soon started panicking we eventually talked about our relationship to give it another try but he still kept his Friday nights out with his mates and still come sozzled and being sick all over the house lol put you and the kids first chuck him out Take care Lina

cameron

@cameron

I'm divorced and although it happened before my MS it was terrible at the time. But the life I have now is far, far better than it would ever have been with a man who was so unpredictable and (as I discovered to my cost) unstable. Life then was all about him, with me trying to please. Life now is about me and it's a real life. You may also find that living without this strain does more for your MS than any meds! Sending hugs through cyberspace, xx

Cam0493

@Cam0493

Thank you everyone

Tabbycat

@Tabbycat

I am not good as this stuff, but I just think you may well be much stronger than you think you are and will do the right thing to keep your self respect. Big hugs from a great distance.

Cam0493

@Cam0493

I don't feel strong as I've even been told nobody will want you with how you act. Even one of his bit of stuff said he was with me out of pity.

Stumbler

@Stumbler

Do not listen to his vitriolic rhetoric (there's a good phrase :wink: ). I wonder how he would cope if the roles were reversed. We know what we have to deal with. Obviously, he hasn't bothered to look!

Cam0493

@Cam0493

It's not I'm so it's nothing to bother him. For the first few years he was great but then my walking started to get bad. As I got worse he got less interested. So much so he held my hair as I had a sick bug then went downstairs to talk on Facebook to he's first bit of stuff I know of saying how much he loves her.

Gwenny

@Gwenny

Sending big hugs to you Cam0493, like the others have said, I hope you have some family and friends who can help you through this horrid mess. It's really hard going through a break-up, I've been there done that, but these days I'm married to a completely different man, who has been unbelievably supportive of me and my MS, and always puts me first. I hope you can find a way out of this situation, and calm yourself down, which should have a positive impact on your MS,regards Gwenny xxx

Cam0493

@Cam0493

I hope so too. It's hard when he's saying in front of the kids I hate everyone even them

KCochrane-85

@KCochrane-85

@Cam0493 Hi I came across your post when reading up about how ms affects relationships. I have only been diagnosed in June and my partner of 18 years has dumped me. This was despite him saying that my ms is fine and I am on the best of medication. My physical examination is absolutely fine at the moment. I can’t believe he has disappeared like this and especially as I am ok so there shouldn’t have been anything to freak him out

Annie_Lyons

@Annie_Lyons

I'm sorry to see this. Lots of people dump their MS partners bc they themselves cannot cope. No-one needs that. It took me a long time to summon the courage, but I got divorced after diagnosis. My MS got far far better after I moved out. People with MS especially do not need bullies, cheats or liars in their lives xx

Chezy

@Chezy

Hi chick. So sorry to read this but I echo what everyone is saying, you need to protect yourself and your kids. You don't deserve this, I think vows go out the window and people find out that they can't handle a permanent health condition. My ex of 15 years walked out for another woman, a younger woman with whom he worked with. Completely blindsided me as I had no clue that he wasn't happy, I was going through a diagnosis and the week before he was acting strange and asking loads of questions. Other than being tired and achy at times, it doesn't affect me really which was the same back then. I was tired, working and looking after the house and munchkins and didn't really know that if I took a step back and rested and he helped more by us being a team, I'd of felt so much better. He blamed me for everything, I was this and that but even now it's never been his fault. He turned a 180 and I went through so much crap from both of them trying to tear me down. I was the obstacle that got in the way of them, well when they broadcasted their relationship on fb a week later the obstacle was out of the way. Now why am I telling you this, it's all doom and gloom right? Wrong, that was almost 5 years ago and this said obstacle has done more with her life than she did when we were together. I'm currently working through my 3rd year of uni, I've been to Paris and Rome by myself, camping trips, road trips, learned to DIY and so much more... I figured out who I was and I know that I'm more than just my MS! I'm not saying it's all been sunshine and rainbows, it's took alot of work on myself, I have moments and meltdowns and I probably drink more than I should at times as I like to chill when the kids are in bed. This year hasn't been easy, probably suffered more with it but then I think the whole world is going through it at the moment. I'm not saying it will be easy but you deserve to be loved the way you should be MS or not, it doesn't define who we are. Surround yourself with a good support system if you can to help you but don't stay because there will be someone that will love you for you. I haven't found them yet but I've not looked, probably because I've worked out I can do it myself as hard as it is 🤷🏻‍♀️😂😂😂! Take care, know that you will get through it and put yourself first! 🤗 Xx