So I'm currently sat in hospital having my second ever infusion of ocroloizimab. The steroids they give you are wearing off a little so I'm feeling well enough to write this. I hate having cannulas in my arm. I know some people are fine with it but I really am not a fan. I've realised recently that the thing I don't like is not the pain of it going in (although I have to look away) but having a needle stuck in the crook of your arm for a long period of time, making you have to keep it straight and restricting my movement. Unfortunately, the veins in the crooks of my arms are super big and easy to get to do that is a nurse's preferred "point of entry". Two weeks ago, during my first ever infusion, I asked to have my canulla put into my right arm but in the forarm instead, the vein is smaller but it allows me to move my arm, relatively unimpeded. It all went without a hitch and barely even hurt and I swore to have all cannullars using this method in the future. Today though, a number of factors came together to make my cannulation an altogether hellish experience. I hope that by testing this you can learn what I did wing and have a better experience for yourself in the future. I'll start by saying that my nurses and all staff present were 100% professional and should not be blamed for anything that happened in the slightest. Mistake 1) I clearly hadn't been drinking enough in the days leading up to my infusion because they struggled to find the veins that were easy the first time. They only had a big needle due to supplies being harder to come by at the moment (Covid-19) and I although the vein in the crook of my arm was easy, the veins elsewhere were smaller, less visible and more sunken. They looked and found a possible vein but after two attempts gave up on it, I got stabbed twice in the arm but the vein was missed because it was too small. So they went for my other arm and found another forarm vein. They got the needle in but when they tried to take blood (needed for research that I've agreed to take part in) it bulged under my skin instead of going into the needle. I note have a small lump in my arm from blood pooling that will probably become a large bride but is expected to go down in a few days. Mistake 2) All this stressed me out (although I tried not to show it) and clearly I hadn't eaten enough and my blood sugar was low because I started to lose my vision. I had my eyes open but couldn't see anything at all. My hearing became muffled and slowly the sounds of the nurses started to fade. My arms and fingers felt tingly but that was the only thing I could sense. Just before it started I had said "I'm feeling a bit funny" but after that I couldn't bring myself to open my mouth. I felt this overwhelming feeling that if I moved or tried to speak I would explode. I stayed conscious but it was like I'd fainted. My back started to sweat and apparently, I went white as a sheet so they knew something was up. I was stuck on an observation station and my blood pressure had dropped pretty damn low and they got a little worried. All I knew of this was feeling someone touching my right arm, muffled voices and someone raising my legs. Luckily, since developing MS I have had about 13 panic attacks so I correctly identified what was happening to me as a feinting fit, bringing on a panic attack. I concentrated on my breathing, trying to make it slow and controlled: an in breath lasting 3 seconds, a pause of two seconds and an out breath of five seconds so I wouldn't hyperventilate. Either that or the raising of my legs helped because after what felt like days (but we probably only a few minutes) I suddenly started to see people in front of me. It took a while to calm down but my blood pressure slowly rose and my colour returned while I still felt pretty lightheaded and my fingers and face tingled, they tried to do the canulla again. This was because I was in the only room they did injections in and I was taking up space and time, I understand and sympathise with their decision. I let them attempt to go into the crook of my arm and my veins there are big so it was easy. My transfusion is going ahead as planned and after a cup of sweet tea and some lunch I'm feeling much better. At the time though, I genuinely thought I was going to die, although I know this was mainly feelings from the panic attack and I did the right thing by remaining quiet and letting the nurses do their job and look after me. Lessons learned: 1) Before a canulla, make sure you drink well for a few days leading up to it, to ensure you're hydrated and they can find the veins, especially if you are planning on requesting they do it in the forarm, back of the hand, ect. 2) Have a good breakfast on the day of your cannulation to keep blood sugar levels high. 3) I did this I think but be nice to your nurses. Sticking a needle in somebody safely and with the minimum amount of fuss is a hard job and you are often expected to do it continuously throughout the day. If you cause a long delay by being squeamish, feinting, being picky about where they inject, this is totally not your fault and I have great sympathy for you...but I also have sympathy for the nurse who has to deal with you. It's a situation where it's nobody's fault and sensitivity and empathy should be practiced on both sides. I hope this helps someone who's expecting a cannula in the future and I hope it hasn't answered anyone, that's not my intention. Love you all.