The ‘Me’ inside has changed
Dear everyone, just needed someone to talk to this evening. I was diagnosed in January with MS. sort of knew about it for 14 years ago when I had an mri and steroids for numbness in my body. The words were mentioned then as a possibility but all this time I have been healthy and active with just a few minor twinges over the years. Nov/Dec/jan have been horrible. However although in the whole scheme of things I am 90% better I am a completely different person to who I was. I will be getting my DMT ( Tecfidera) drugs this week and it’s now all real. I’m trying to wean myself off Pregabalin at the moment as my brain was so fogged I almost couldn’t string a sentence together. It’s going ok but not easy. It’s the most beautiful sunny Easter Sunday and I almost can’t stop crying. My poor poor husband, he’s leaving me too it because he doesn’t know what to do or say. I just don’t know me anymore, I’m different. I feel unattractive, unhappy, almost not bothered about seeing my friends who have been wonderful. My personality has changed...I just don’t know this person I’ve become. I feel grief...and overwhelming sadness. I really don’t want to start the medication..I’m scared. I feel an absolute mess emotionally. I’m lucky though, I’m back on my feet and walking but not the same in my head. Too much self pity...sorry, it’s so unattractive.
Hi @fiona_payne and welcome. Despite the suspicion 14 years ago, a formal diagnosis is still a shock. So, you need to give yourself time to process the information. And, yes, to grieve for the life you knew before this episode that led up to the diagnosis. You can expect to progress through a range of emotions over the coming months. But, you'll eventually reach some logical conclusions as you get everything into perspective. So, live healthily, eat healthily and avoid any further causes of stress. There are some "tags" that have been automatically added to the foot of your post above. Select the Tecfidera tag and you'll locate all the previous discussions regarding this DMT.
Thank you for your wise words.I really don’t want to be this person, I just want to heal mentally then I feel I can deal with most things, I’m fed up of putting a front on. I’m in a better place physically than I expected 2 months ago. Sometimes a good cry helps.