I've had depression since I was a teenager. Now, finally diagnosed with MS, last year, I will get to look forward to when I can no longer fend for myself. Hasn't happened yet. Fortunately, I have worked since I was in highschool. I know that after 35+ years of taxes paid, I am now an elder. I deserve to be assisted in my declining years. Even if I was diagnosed as a teenager, with MS, it is something that society will assist with. Not my fault. Just something that happens to people. So I will continue on, with how I am. I am not a doctor, not a nurse. I am, however, an essential service. I keep my corner of the world, safe. I still feel like crap. Still feel that suicide is a viable option. Although, I promised my mom I wouldn't hurt myself. Life just sucks, sometimes.