I was a teacher, social jitterbug and loved to party, played soccer, ran and I took great pride in being busy and managing it all efficiently.
I am still trying to find a way to be okay and proud of the “new me” and my “new normal”. I haven’t been able to teach in three years. I don’t run or play sports. I can only manage one task at a time. Too much noise affects me. I am now a stay at home mom, but my kids are teenagers and don’t need me as much as they used to.
My life now is all about planning ahead and getting enough rest….trying to find out how much is too far and what will “shut me down”. I feel as though I am always on the cusp of letting my inner sadness take over and own me.
But….I keep going for my family. I have taken up painting, puzzling and love playing my guitar and singing. I am taking piano lessons in the fall. My children love having me at home. Because I was a teacher, I was often exhausted by the time I got home and my own children would get the worst of me. Now, they always get the best of me. My relationships are more meaningful than I ever thought they could be. I am more comfortable talking about my disease. I am more comfortable appearing “weak” in front of others. I use my cane when I need to in public.
Every day, I keep moving and keep finding the ways to be grateful for my “new life” as the “new me”. 💕
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