@mschronic

Last reply

mschronic

Guilty as charged: fatigue at work

Hello everyone, I'm currently at work and am having major fatigue problems. I can't walk up the stairs and even typing this note is taking a helluva lot of energy. I had to lie down at work today because I refuse to go home. I feel guilty everytime I leave work early and I guess I was wondering whether anyone felt this way at work. It's not as if they are forcing me or anything but it's a self-placed guilt. I know when I get home I'm going to lie down and not work. I've just come back from a long sick leave and I was hoping to come back fresh and ready but I don't feel fresh. In fact to be truthful I feel weary and guilty for feeling that way. Just thought I'd vent and was wondering whether anyone felt that way? Can you give any advice?

Stumbler

@Stumbler

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/mschronic/' rel='nofollow'>@MSChronic</a>, Yes, I can provide some advice. This is not self-inflicted, it's not something you drunk, inhaled or shot up. So, you're not to blame. So, give up the guilt trip and be nice to yourself. Sorry this is short and terse, but the message is heartfelt. :)

Marjolie

@Marjolie

Hi <a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/mschronic/' rel='nofollow'>@mschronic</a> I understand this feeling completely, but as <a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/Stumbler/' rel='nofollow'>@Stumbler</a> so rightly says, it's nothing you've done, its just how you feel, and that is what makes you, you. If others were to feel this way about you, it would be their problem and I'm guessing they don't, this is not a problem you should be worried about- you've enough on your plate lovely- chin up, so you're back at work (a bit too soon by the sounds of it) and maybe the weekend will help, if it doesn't don't be afraid to admit it. x rest your head and try not to worry yourself with 'would's' and 'could's' Feel free to use my mantra of 'Fuck this Shit' which seems to work best of all x

Stumbler

@Stumbler

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/marjolie/' rel='nofollow'>@Marjolie</a>, now that's what I was trying to say, but you put it so much more eloquently. :)

pottypete

@pottypete

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/marjolie/' rel='nofollow'>@Marjolie</a> You have such a lovely turn of phrase. It's somewhat akin to mine. <a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/mschronic/' rel='nofollow'>@mschronic</a> STOP feeling guilty! It's not something you control. If you have to sleep or rest, then you HAVE TO, end of! I don't work and I feel like that all the time, so you must feel even worse than I, what with the self induced stress as well. That in itself will exacerbate your symptoms, so take it easy on yourself. *?%£$£????**!

Chris75

@Chris75

Could't agree more to ALL of the above comments. It's not YOU doing it. Do not be hard on yourself for learning how best to manage the way you do, but DO let yourself rest. And lay off the guilt, you have enough to deal with already!

janep

@janep

Ah... the inevitable frustration this arises when our bodies just don't match up to our (often impractical) expectations! I'm in the middle of a relapse at the moment and desperate to get back to work so I really feel your pain. I'm taking steroids to speed up my recovery and they've given me a lovely energy boost, which combined with some crutches I've been lent my a fabulous colleague I'm raring to go! Inevitably this will mean that I really overdo it in the next few days! Try not to beat yourself up, these things take time and overdoing it and then beating yourself up will only exacerbate your fatigue. Do something nice and relaxing this weekend to recharge you a bit ,both physically and emotionally- and remember that you've already come a long way.x

cameron

@cameron

(I'm projecting my own feelings about work here..) For what it's worth, I think that we cling to work because work represents the 'can do' and 'the normal' of life before diagnosis. So, if we stagger in, we can tell ourselves that we are just as we were before. Even if the effort in doing this makes us ill! Perhaps the better way of thinking is to make a list of what we can REALLY control and what we can't. Fatigue comes in the second list, but in the first list you could put 'increase hours of sleep'.In fact, this could be a priority! Not that this is necessarily easy with everything that goes on in daily life, but it is something you could work towards, monitor and CONTROL.

VixR

@VixR

Hi <a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/mschronic/' rel='nofollow'>@mschronic</a>, I echo what everyone else says! I haven't managed to work full time at all this year, and have actually been off work for the past 6 weeks. I feel guilty, but at the end of the day I have to listen to my body. I felt quite good this morning so decided to clear out my wardrobe - BIG MISTAKE!! Thought I was ready to go back to work but this proved I'm not! Look after yourself and give yourself some TLC!

msue62

@msue62

You are much better than you think. People are less judgemental towards severe fatigue than you are. I have sometimes felt useless at work and later have found that people actually think I am great for trying so hard. Keep trying but you must also rest rest rest. MS is not your fault at all it is knackering totally snickering we all know that and you would be surprised how many

msue62

@msue62

Sorry phone went funny.....snickering? ?? Chin up and chill out! X

mschronic

@mschronic

Thanks to everyone for the messages. I felt lousy on Friday and didn't go to work. I'm learning to just say 'screw it let me lie down and rest.' It's tough to just give in but it doesn't mean I'm giving up.

janep

@janep

Hi <a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/mschronic/' rel='nofollow'>@mschronic</a>, of course you're not giving up! You're just listening to your body and giving yourself a fighting chance! (think stalemate in a minor skirmish prior to kicking *ss in the final battle!) Trying to pace myself and accept that whilst there is generally nothing I can't do because of my ms, that doesn't mean I can do it all at the same speed and intensity as before, has been the biggest struggle for me to come to terms with and I'm still not there! Hope you've had a nice relaxing weekend xx

kerrylousie

@kerrylousie

i have just read this post today after returning to work today from being off for the last week and feel exactly the same as you <a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/mschronic/' rel='nofollow'>@mschronic</a>. As the bread winner i work cos i have to, to pay the mortgage and have always worked so feel the guilt ten fold. Everyone tells me to take breaks otherwise i won't last the day, which i don't. I know they are right but for someone who has worked since they were 15, never taken lunch breaks etc its hard to suddenly change the mind-set. It is nice to know other people have the same concerns and that we are in the same boat and not fretting alone xx

paul2011

@paul2011

i gave up work because of constant severe fatigue and weakness which was torture and have been awarded ESA support group because of it. don't do it if the fatigue is making you worse. it's not worth it.

DJDsouza

@DJDsouza

After doing a Fatigue Diary for my Occupational Therapist at the NHNN in Queens Square, they recommended I take a nap after lunch to help with the fatigue. It didn't help! But I worked out that having my lunch at 1 instead of 12 helped loads!

paul2011

@paul2011

take a nap after lunch? wouldn't have helped me because i was sleeping on the disabled toilet floor by 10am.

Stumbler

@Stumbler

Unfortunately, MS doesn't take prisoners. You ignore it's warnings at your peril. So, if your body/brain says I'm tired, rest up!

mschronic

@mschronic

Is there a fatigue monitor that one can get so that we can check whether we can survive the day or not? Right now my body feels like it's felt worse but I'm not sure it can survive the entire day like this.

Stumbler

@Stumbler

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/mschronic/' rel='nofollow'>@mschronic</a>, there is no fatigue monitor, we just have to listen/feel what our body is telling us. If your body feels worse, then you need to rest up. Trying to push on regardless will only exacerbate the way you feel, which will then take longer to recover. Just be nice to yourself, so that you can start managing your MS, instead of your MS managing you.

kerrylousie

@kerrylousie

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/Stumbler/' rel='nofollow'>@stumbler</a>, i agree completely. I found out the hard way, this week i have been signed off for a month as i have not showed any sign of getting better from this relapse and i insisted on keep returning to work as i felt guilty. Anyway i am now off adn after speaking to a few people i have finally realised that i come first and if i dont the consequences are not worth even thinking about. My symptons have got to the point that i cannot walk, speech is so slurred i dont talk have the time, itching, burning pains, and the 'hug'so i need to slow down and as my MS nurse says 'switch the brain off# for some time it recoup

Stumbler

@Stumbler

MS is very unforgiving. If you don't allow relapses to recover by resting, then the symptoms can become permanent. You have to put yourself first. Be selfish and be nice to yourself.