Shift.ms is better if you're logged in

Hi, I'm Matt, I'm 25 and I was just diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Five years ago I had optic neuritis in my left eye, so I've known for a long time that MS was a possibility, but my scans at the time were really good, my eye healed very well, and I was discharged two years ago. Five years to the week this February I found myself thinking about my optic neuritis, and feeling this sense of relief that I'd made it five whole years without incident and hoping that it would remain a CIS, something to finally put behind me. It was that week that I felt my lower legs start to go numb and over the course of a few days that numbness spread up to my waist. I knew what it was immediately. I knew the thing I've been terrified of for the last five years of my life had finally happened, and right at the moment where I was starting to move on and let go of that fear. The numbness has receded over the last month and is now thankfully mostly only present in my feet. I received the results of my MRI on Thursday, my neurologist showed me two lesions in my spine and diagnosed me with MS. It feels completely surreal to be here exactly five years after it all started. I had this moment of relief lying in bed that week with my CIS on my mind where I thought to myself "It's been five years, there's a lower chance of anything happening now." I'm not at all superstitious, but the moment I thought it I had this horrible feeling like I jinxed myself. It was the next day when I woke up that my feet were numb. I feel oddly calm, because in a lot of ways I feel like I've been waiting for this to happen for the last five years. Now I find myself waiting for the next thing to happen, and I'm scared of what that might be. I'm hoping I can make it another five years. Thank you for reading my story. I would love to hear from others about their experiences, and any words of wisdom you can offer me at this time as I adjust to this new way of being would be greatly appreciated.