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@barryb 

Last reply

barryb

Relationships and having MS

Hi All, My partner of almost 22 years no longer wants to be with me, we have no children, has anyone been in the same boat? I don't think I can ever open up to anyone else again in the same way, hell we met when I was 21, is this it now? Who would want to be with someone with this disease? Excuse me I need to go to the loo for the x time in the last few hours, sorry I'm anxious travelling anywhere due to x and y, oh and I can't walk that far as I get tired. We are still friends, she says I am a good looking guy, I don't know about that, I feel so adrift, can't focus at work, feel no inclination to do anything. Sorry for posting this, maybe i need to get it out, I thought I was getting over it and then the Neuro said he "thinks" my MS is now secondary progressive, whats the point? I know the are a lot of people are worse off than myself and I feel selfish for even posting this :(
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@Monica2015
@Monica2015
 

Hi @barryb, I'm so sorry that you have received such devastating news, especially after been a couple for such a long period of time. Inevitably it will impact your health, it would for a healthy individual. I'm wondering if you have any others in the form of a social network that might be able to support you through this period of anguish and loss? You do not cite the MS as being the reason, although I'm guessing it may well have been a contributory factor. Would your wife be open to relationship counselling or has she already left? I'm not in the same position, but do know of others on this forum who have shared similar stories, usually the women. I do know of one gentleman, and I hope he will not mind me passing on his name to you as he's discussed it in previous threads, whose situation parallels yours: @orlando27. He may be able to advise better than I. However, I would say that it might be useful for you to seek some assistance processing your grief via a counsellor or similar and to attempt to not focus on anything other than handling your emotions at the present time. I can only reiterate how sorry I am, and how in the future I am sure you will find someone who loves and accepts you as you are. Good luck! Monica x

@barryb
@barryb
 

@monica2015 We were not married, it is not the MS, I was diagnosed over 12 years ago, she still loves me for who I am, but not in a close relationship way anymore, and as much as it pains me I want what is best for her and for her to do whats in her own best interests. I do blame myself for allowing my fears to limit what we did as a couple and think that maybe a contributing factor. I was / am seeing a MS counsellor (psychologist) to assist with my tavel anxiety (which sucks as I travel to work every day), and we did discuss my relationship but, as caring as they are they dont "know" if you know what I mean? My friends do not live close, but it is hard to open up to guys and i do not have any close female friends anymore, not really have for a long time. It is the coming home and not having someone to make dinner with etc, I still live in the house, we need to see about selling etc, which again is another fear, we already have a joint mortgage so that will need to be dealt with, too many what if's with this damnable disease :/ I appreciate your kind words.