@How do I find support? on Shift.ms

How do I find support?

I'm feeling so let down by my body and so frustrated and exhausted still after months of fighting through rehabilitation. On top of that I feel like this disease is going to ruin my relationship because my fiance CANNOT handle talking about it all the time.. but it's always on my mind, and apparently I have no filter for what comes out of my mouth anymore when I'm upset.. My being overwhelmed is overwhelming him now as well and has turned our relationship so cold.. We used to go on adventures hiking all the time.. and now I am here. Feeling stuck. How did you guys get past feeling completely victimized by this diagnosis? And where do I find someone to talk to about this stuff?? Not just a therapist.. I'm working on finding one of those too, but I need an MS buddy who won't crumble mentally when I need to vent randomly. I am a great listener too! Js! WHERE?? I need someone who I can talk to about this!! Just over here waiting for my twisted sister.. 🩵

Hi @LynnardSkynnard :) Firstly, good name - just inspired me to put Free Bird on whilst I type (appreciate your name might have nothing to do with Lynyrd Skynyrd). Your comment... it sounds really difficult. I've certainly experienced similar when it comes to my body letting me down. I do try to reframe this on good days and hold on to how much I still can do, even if its now adapted. So I think this is one thing I have found helpful. I do work in mental health. Background is nursing but I work as a Therapist now. It does mean some of what I help others with, I can then put back on to myself. I appreciate it isn't always easy, especially if already experiencing a bout of low mood. Either way, I do practice re-framing negative thoughts and gratitude most days. Relationship - my partner has been supportive throughout the past 10yrs but like you, if it's a difficult day I may talk about it more and wonder if sometimes he switches off, maybe because he's heard bit many times and it's my own anxieties making me go over it and over it. It potentially is overwhelming for them too. They are going through it with us, not in the same way but it does directly impact them and maybe they aren't always sure how to help. Sometimes there isn't an answer. Maybe we just need them to hear the worries, offer validation and move on to the next subject. It sounds simple and I'm sure you've already tried but maybe a conversation to think about how you're both feeling and the impact it's having, then finding solutions. A therapist could be helpful, friends and family you can speak to, journaling (I'm about to start) - get all those repetitive, negative thoughts down. Getting outside for me is a great antidote for mood, even if only the garden. Remembering what I can do and doing those things - shorter walks with more breaks and a nice coffee. Like you, I use to go on much longer walks but there are days that's now not possible, other days I can do more. Doing things you enjoy or thinking about a new hobby. Local community support groups if there are any? Like @Steph7 said, there are people on here that buddy up with you. Maybe message the coordinators on site and see if they can help you find someone. There will be good and bad days, it's ok to feel frustrated (and all other emotions you're feeling), it's tough having MS but on the good days, embrace those too. You'll get there :)