Work advice
Hi I am newly diagnosed (may this year) and getting my head around everything.
I had to have time off work earlier this year for 5 weeks which is the longest I have ever been off work apart from maternity leave. I returned to work on a phased return which ended in July. I have had occupation health assessments and involved and an assessment from access to work. I don't yet have a reasonable adjustments plan in place but have been trying to manage the demands of my job and work from home a day a week. I am really struggling, I have nothing left after work and often return home full of things still to do exhausted and feeling ill. I know I need to get to a better place where I am more actively managing my health and in control of what I can do at work. I am in a senior position and often in large meetings and have to present information to large groups (up to 100 people) I am starting to get wobbly my confidence is going since my diagnosis and I am doubting my abilities and capability to function. I also feel paranoid that the chief exec is monitoring my performance constantly. I don't know what to do I can't give up but I can't carry on and am worried I am going to make myself to having another relapse like earlier this year. I have just been to a 'newly diagnosied' day which was great to start with but as the day went on everything dawned on me and I just couldn't listen to anymore... I will struggle to talk about my weaknesses to my employer I work in a high pressure environment with high expectations and challenging workload. The last person they need leading the agenda is a flakey wobbly inconsistent person which some days is how I feel about myself. I don't know if I should plan to get out while the going is good/ok, solider on or take a side step (which I would struggle with mentally) any advice?
Hello @kitty369, oh I so sympathise. I have a senior position in a school and even though I'm doing OK, it's that huge blow to confidence that can quite easily and quickly turn to fear of speaking in public. I was diagnosed Dec/Jan and Iwould say that it's probably taken nine months to fully process the news. Even now I don't feel quite in the position to make decisions about the future of work for me, so maybe you should try and go with the flow for now. Now we (us MSers) have 'protected characteristics' in the workplace, we are afforded a lot of protection. So, your CEO might be monitoring your performance, but you have to be monitoring it more. Say something happens which you may or may not feel has been noted you others, keep a careful log of everything. Specially if anything gets written down by others. I know that seems quite a strange thing to do, but it's important for your peace of mind that you have all the facts in order. It's great that you had a phased return to work. But your body is still recovering from your time out of work, so your workplace will need to honour this. I really hope you get back to full throttle soon, sending you love and support x
Hi @kitty369 , it's a fine balancing act that we need to perform. You have to weigh up the benefits of doing the job, in its present form, against the potential harm to your long term health. MS is very unforgiving and feeds off any stress that you are feeling. Work is a temporary means to an end. It is just a proportion of your life. Your health needs to be considered as we need to try and preserve it for when our working life comes to an end. There's no point working if it's detrimental to our long term health. We also have to consider our partner, kids, dog, cats and hens. :wink: Like I say, it's a fine balancing act