@Effeoh

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Effeoh

Angry outbursts

Quite embarrassed and ashamed to write this but had a major irrational flip out tonight about something relatively minor. I feel like I've been harbouring resentment against a person for a while, a build up of several things that culminated in an aggressive and hysterical outburst this evening. I mean it was bad. I feel shocked how aggressive I was now I've calmed down. Honestly I'm nice and calm and friendly 99.99% of the time and I hate confrontation which is why it's so weird! It was like I was a different person and I couldn't control what was coming out of my mouth, it didn't last long and soon after I was apologising and feeling terrible about it. It has happened a couple of times in the past 5 years or so to be honest but very rare, I mean I never have little tiffs with people, just a big outburst every couple of years. I have always thought that ms is caused or at least triggered by stress. But now I'm thinking maybe it's suppression of anger, maybe its because I bottle stuff up and then explode. Straight after my leg pain flared up too. Does anyone else have angry outbursts or suppressed anger and resentment and do you think it's a cause or symptom of ms?

pottypete

@pottypete

Stress will most certainly exacerbate your symptoms to a certain degree. Emotional issues are a factor in MS as well. Check out 'Emotional lability'. there is a thread about it on here somewhere.

cameron

@cameron

I had one outburst like yours two years ago. Somebody was being very insensitive and I just wasn't prepared to go along with it. I was told later that I came across as aggressive, even menacing (!). Like you, I am normally placid and tolerant, but since the MS I think my self-defence mechanism has become so ingrained that if I am challenged, I stand up for myself, regardless of the cost. Right? Wrong? Don't know, that's the way it is. Please don't hate yourself, you're fighting a battle with MS and there are bound to be casualties somewhere along the line. xxxx

Effeoh

@Effeoh

Thanks @pottypete found the thread. Yeah depression is another issue for me although thankfully got over a bad stint about a year ago. Now it's just a bit of melancholy here and there. But that outburst scared me. I just did a google search and found some research suggesting that people with ms generally have higher levels of suppressed anger than the general population but only react at the same levels as everyone else. A lot of thought is that the reason for the anger is because we have ms. But I have a theory that ms is a physical manifestation of psychological issues rather than the other way round. I found some research to suggest otherwise in that other people with similar experiences not developing ms, but coping mechanisms are different from person to person so I can't see how that could be a controlled test. Anyway it's just a theory I have.

mammamoose

@mammamoose

Don't feel bad about it, I do it quite a lot ! I think its a combination of pain, frustration and anxiety that we all try and suppress and sometimes all it takes is a little annoyance to make it all come out.

Effeoh

@Effeoh

Thanks @cameron and @mammamoose Feel a bit better knowing it's not just me. Aggressive and menacing is definitely right. I practically turned into the incredible hulk there for a minute! Been spending today trying to build bridges again. Sure it will be o.k.

Feloreena

@Feloreena

Happens to me as well sometimes and I hate it. :( Feel like I am managing it a bit better than before though!

Marjolie

@Marjolie

Oh @Effeoh, there's not much really to feel too bad about (I know, if only it were that simple!) What I mean is don't beat yourself up too much lovely, we all have our moments; anger is like bottled up dynamite just waiting to explode, I'm the same, an anxious spazz-bomb throwing the odd hissy fit and bad temper out of nowhere, your friends will be ok about it, maybe just tell them what's going on 'in there'- they'll understand and we can cope with it so have a good rant here! x

Stumbler

@Stumbler

Outbursts of angry emotion are a necessary release valve. We suffer a lot of frustration and we can't hold that all in. MS may be owned by an individual, but it affects their entire family unit. We have to be careful that we don't release our emotions on the wrong people and hurt someone close. If you want to get something off your chest, come onto this forum and tell us about it. It's best to release the pressure here rather then destabilise your home life, which MS has already rocked. :)

strawberrygirl

@strawberrygirl

This thread has made me feel a touch better, on boxing day i had a really bad out burst of anger which is not like me. I feel terribly ashamed and was very shocked at how nasty I was. It dawned on me, I feel I have suppressed my anger for 7 years about having MS and it all came flowing out. Since then I have been to the GP and asked for help, I am starting counselling in 2 weeks so fingers crossed I can let go of some of my anger. xx

playful

@playful

I had done the same in the past. Everyone does it with depression. Why I stay on a low dose of Zoloft. It is a very normal reaction. But unfortunately society would rather put judgemental labels such as crazy and so on. So you are human ;) Just need to figure out what works for you on handling stress and ways to not become overwhelmed. Just live in the moment at hand and enjoy each moment. As said on movie kung fu panda. The past is history the future is a mystery. .thats why the moments at hand are caled the present.

mser79

@mser79

I wrote this about my post-diagnosis anger flare-ups a couple of years ago...http://www.lickingthehoney.org/2012/03/looking-back-in-anger/ Cx

Gav

@Gav

Frustrations, RRRRAAARRRGGGHHH!!?! You're not alone

sara

@sara

Frustration seems to always catch me out with people, I get annoyed that I have to point the obvious out. MS is so complex :) X

Effeoh

@Effeoh

Hi guys! Just logged back in and seen this thread has had a bit more action of late. Christmas stress for me has resulted in more melt downs and tears particularly directed at the same person (my sister) as before. Family have stepped in now to "mediate" which is a bit embarrassing and has just highlighted how far and extreme my reaction has been. Don't get me wrong, it's not totally unjustified but probably a tad out of proportion in all honesty when I calm down, but in that moment when I trigger I see red mist and explode and literally can't stop myself. I need to work out why my reaction is so extreme. @cathy read your post and it really really helped put things into perspective. I think that one one hand I'm angry for how she's treated me but this is exacerbated by her lack of understanding of my MS and the situation when I think she should be more considerate, in a lot of ways similar to your train incident (which I can relate to also, hate that MS is often invisible when trying to get a seat) but really she should know better which is why I'm probably flipping out. Hoping an open and frank conversation,in a calm setting with my Mum to referee will help get across my frustrations rather than blowing my top every time she upsets me. Fingers crossed. Also read that you moved to the seaside from London. I'm looking to do the same in a year or so, need to slow pace of life down, can't wait, if only money wasn't an issue I'd be there now, even in the floods! Thanks all for your support everyone, it does make me feel a whole lot better knowing it's not just me.

FrancLeone

@FrancLeone

I am half Italian so having a fiery temper is to be expected, however, my MS symptoms mean I have a lot less control over the point at which you lose it. It is getting better but it is also taking time to be honest, I just think it's part of the journey we have to go through in coming to terms with everything that we're going through. Franc

giabean123

@giabean123

Ms...messes with your brain...I blame this for the bipolar2 I developed...agoraphobia...and of course depression. All a melting pot for explosion on even the most minor things. They have the meds to help. Wish for symptoms of MS they or whoever would write that MS can also cause symptoms like the psychiatric prob ive read that alot of msers develop

Effeoh

@Effeoh

Yes it seems so many of us suffer from this. But for me it's a bit of a chicken and egg thing. Are psychological issues caused by the diagnosis and coming to terms with it, or is MS in part caused by psychological issues? I know for a fact that stress triggered my first relapse and worsening of symptoms now. I would really like to see more research into this.

Stumbler

@Stumbler

Stress has a major part to play in Managing MS and is best avoided. Now, emotional lability (spelt correctly, honest!) is also a symptom of MS. Have a read here :- http://www.nationalmssociety.org/about-multiple-sclerosis/what-we-know-about-ms/symptoms/emotional-changes/index.aspx

mysep

@mysep

Hi, I agree with your post, I have had the same thing this morning, and have wondered for months of that suppressed anger / that anger was not linked to MS. I had my first MS crisis right after one of these situations. Basically I felt it triggered my first trip so far to the hospital. All this linked to an anger with my mother. And I felt maybe I would have never gone to the hospital if I hadn't had this first burst of anger a few days before that with my mother. I was so angree. Out of control. I guess people who do not have MS (doctors etc) may not necessarily understand this. It's like, in my case too, I was not recognizing myself. Like if, before, I wouldn't have got so angry. Thanks for having posted this. And me too, I really feel bad about this. Take care, Lots of love! M

tamie5

@tamie5

Yes, I have lost dear friendships over my "lashing out" for reasons I think are legit (many of them may be), and I lash out at my husband frequently. Not proud of it, but often, my mouth precedes my ability to rationalize and step back from the situation before acting on my plethora of negative and irrational emotion. Wish there were better ways of coping with my anxiety and anger issues. 😣

Bernadette

@Bernadette

the link that stumbler has posted 3 replies ago covers a lot of very helpful points it is a hard road we are travelling on; personally i find that my fuse is very short at times, especially when my fatigue is making me feel rotten and/or when someone makes an insensitive remark. it doesn't help that many of the symptoms are invisible to others. grief and loss are such a big part of dealing with MS and fuel anger and depression i meditate most days and the days when i don't is when i'm most likely to blow up...and you don't want to hear the bad language when i'm driving !! forgive yourself first and foremost x