The anxiety that causes my Nightmares
I was diagnosed with MS 6 months ago, it’s safe to say when I found out I honestly thought my life was over, I knew very little, all I really knew is there is no cure. When I finally stopped crying and telling myself everything I loved had to come to an end, I finally picked myself up from a deep dark place and started living again... Well barely, because of Covid restrictions. However, I began to ease back to work and life just seemed as normal as it was before. Except for the anxiety that grew with my diagnosis, with every ache and pain I suffer this huge anxiety attack, where my brain spirals and I think I have about a day before I’m temporarily paralysed or completely paralysed. I literally get home from work and have, what in the past I might have considered just simple aches and pains, but now I completely fear the worst. When the panic begins I get these nightmares where I become paralysed in my sleep, open my eyes and can not move anything, and I can’t seem to be able to speak either to call out for help. What does not help is I’m always tired so I am absolutely desperate for a goodnight sleep , but now I am literally scared to fall asleep.. the irony
Do you have an MS nurse to work with you? Your fears are very human and also unfounded. RRMS generally moves slowly. It took me 40 years before I had to quit working and make major changes to my life, and I'm still ambulatory and taking care of myself. I see that you're not on any treatments. May I ask why? I think that when you get more information from your doctor you'll start feeling better about things. MS isn't the end of the world, but it may involve making a few changes in your life.
@NorasMom so the sad thing is why I am not on treatment is mainly because my experience of getting diagnosed was so horrible. Because of Covid I didn’t actually have the right type of help from my consultant or MS nurse ... so I had been telling doctors for sometime something was up and they kept telling me it was stress , and after I had minimised so much like uni and work and other things in life they kept saying stress. When I finally got an MRI and it showed something, I was told not to worry and that sometimes female hormones cause spots in the brain and then after being told I’m young and not to worry I go a LETTER, I found out I had MS in a letter , no call or consultation I got a wonderful NHS letter, that broke me. I opened it on my break at work so I had a panic attack and cut my shift short. Then I met my MS nurse who literally took me through a PowerPoint trying to explain was was MS on the first meeting. It felt very formal. I was going through something else medically at the time and she was more focused on that and that really annoyed me , and one day she had a go at me for being a helthcare worker and not being vaccinated for Covid. I went there to learn about the treatments for the first time and she spent some time saying I was putting my patients in danger by not being vaccinated and I told her I was just taking some time to learn about the new Covid drugs before being vaccinated but that wasn’t good about apparently.. she was very pro treatment and I told her I’m not against it it’s just I’ve always been someone who has relied on holistic methods and my body and I wanted to know what other options I had but I just got told about the medical treatments so I’m currently going through a journey of attempting a holistic direction. Sorry for the lengthy reply