Help
Hello I need some advice
I've had ms since 2016 and have never really excepted the fact that I can't do what I use to do.
I have 2 wonderful children and find it extremely upsetting I can't run around with them, my mood has changed since diagnosis, and it is now affecting my marriage.
I worry every year about keeping my hgv licence even tho my driving isn't affected and can drive perfectly well, the stress off waiting for the dvla is unreal,
I have never reached out before I was wondering if anyone else has the same issues
Hello @Asa79. There is nobody on the planet who can honestly say that MS didn’t change their mood. That is part of what it does to US. If your mood did not change, that would make you a robot. It’s ok. I don’t think we have to accept the changes. We might have to tolerate them, but I’ll never really be OK with a number of the negative changes: changing work; working from home; not feeling like I have energy to “go shopping” or go attend family functions that are all-day events. But let’s focus on the treasure in what you described. You have a family. You have a role to play…even with MS….especially with MS! You are going to teach your children valuable lessons : that our parents are not perfect; that parents need help sometimes too; that we should have sincere empathy when others are struggling; that all of us may need help in various ways; that patience can be demonstrated even when facing obstacles. You don’t have to be perfect to be perfectly created to be their father. I have come to realize just how much my having MS has modified my husband’s life. At first I tended to feel that I was the only ‘victim’ , but after many years, I can see that MS became a daily presence in our relationship. Marriage is a battle to show your partner that you can love them even when they are at their worst—and for them to do the same for you. We all have days/periods when we are at our worst. I would not hesitate to reach out to a pastor or counselor to help you both navigate this. MS is not a trivial glitch in a relationship. It deserves a couples’ attention and serious discussion about how to cope together.
Sounds tough. MS is disabling. It eventually affects our lives in many ways. It really cuts to the core of ourselves. I guess I am going to say something quite boring. Perhaps explore other careers. I quit my job, and now, I wish I could get back in. However, my naps won’t take themselves. Claiming benefits can be hard. Definitely worth asking the job centre/citizen advice to help complete. Hope you can find a way to manage. All the best.