Last reply 1 month ago
Bereavement

Hello all,

Just wondering if you can offer me any advice. I was diagnosed 13 years ago but unfortunately my dad passed away completely unexpectedly a month ago. I have lost a bit of weight but my MS ‘seems’ to be no different. Has anyone else had any experience of bereavement of a close family member/friend and did you suffer a relapse or change in symptoms? I think I am pretty good at noticing change but I am under no illusion that my body is under stress. Sorry for any of your losses. Thanks,
Emma x

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stumbler
1 month ago

@emmarichards , I’m sorry for your loss. Unexpected bereavements are difficult, so give yourself the time and space to grieve.

I lost my Father back in 2006. His death was expected. It was down to me, with a bit of help from my brother, to make the funeral arrangements.

I was also the Executor of his will. But that wasn’t too bad as I’d been appointed “his Guardian” a couple of years before his death.

However, back then I knew nothing definite about stress and its impact on my MS.

It all had an impact, but it wasn’t major. You’re aware of the problem with stress so you’re halfway towards dealing with it. 😉


merfield
1 month ago

@emmarichards, firstly let me say I’m sorry for you losing your dad. my partner died in March- he was in a home with Alzheimer’s and emphysema but although it wasn’t unexpected as he’d got very thin….. it’s still very final when it comes. Don’t know if it affected me as I’m ppms and so gradually getting worse all the time but I certainly and sadly haven’t lost weight. I think having some chronic condition must enable you to adjust to changes in your life – well it does for me anyway……I hope you get more usefull replies than mine xx


itsmewithms
1 month ago

As with all difficult events it isn’t the event itself but how you respond to it that causes stress. The same thing can happen to multiple people but the impact could be different for each of them due to how they react to it.

My dad died last November after an illness so while his death was not unexpected it came on much faster than any of us expected. In June I lost my job and again, not totally unexpected but this is stressing me more than the loss of my father even though I was one of the executors.

It is good for you to examine the impact and be aware of it. Give yourself a break when you need it and ask for help. Grief can sneak up on you – take care.


look
1 month ago

Hi @emmarichards,
I’m really sorry for the loss of your dad – that’s awfully sad. I felt I should respond to your question as my Ms kicked off several years ago after my brother died in an accident (we were both abroad with no family there at the time, nor afterwards). It took me a very long time to get proper grief Counselling but even so long after losing my brother (we were only in our twenties) it helped enormously just to talk it through with a trained person. I actually think that just unpacking it all helped with some of my Ms stress symptoms. I hope you manage okay through this difficult time. It’s always so sad to lose a loved one.
⭐️Loo


merfield
1 month ago

👋🏻@look, anyone looking at your profile sees nowt/nada/nothing. Is it ok for you to be able to look up other’s profiles when they can’t find out what type of ms you have, what part of the world you come from or anything about you at all? Sorry, but I know this anonymity frustrates other MSers so please fill in your details. Thanks. xx😊


elisabeth_turner
1 month ago

@emmarichards I lost my mother 8 years ago quite unexpectedly (diagnosed with cancer in the January, died within 3 months). It was a strange time as I, like you, was expecting it to cause a relapse but it didn’t. Strange as it may sound, I think am quite pragmatic about death as it is a natural process and in my mother’s case she didn’t suffer too much. So although it caused deep sadness, I didn’t find it “stressful”. They’re different emotions and I suppose they result in different chemicals flooding our body. This is obvs just my experience, and I don’t know the your own circumstances. So sorry for you loss though xx


look
1 month ago

Eek @merfield
So sorry my profile was up to date – I was updating it further today but it seems to have glitched – my bad probably as I had to go and do something else 😀


merfield
1 month ago

Eek @look, I’m the one who feels guilty- it’s just that some MSers just put their name, nothing more, which is not playing the game of the forum . I’ve got your profile now. Sorry about that.xx

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