Feeling like no one understands
Feel so crappy today. I'm on a few online groups that are supposed to be there to support people with MS. However, there always seems to be individuals that are not yet diagnosed that are disappointed when they are told that their doctor doesn't think they have MS. I find the behaviour of wanting an illness unsettling when this illness destroys every part of your life very very slowly. An illness is not a trophy to aim for. I understand the uncertainty of the diagnosis process. Personally it wouldn't of helped me to be on a page for an illness I didn't yet know I had. I have a strong family history of autoimmune disease... My sister has MS and my twin Lupus and Addison's disease. When I developed symptoms MS was the furthest thing from my mind and I remember well the earth shattering day I got my lumber puncture results. I don't know if I'm wrong to get annoyed by people seemingly wanting this diagnosis. I get that it's sometimes scarier to not know the devil you are facing. Maybe there is something wrong with me to think this way. Maybe my anger is misdirected? I just can't fathom people being disappointed to not be diagnosied with MS. Am I being weird!?
Not at all weird, but I suppose it's a clue to your own state of mind around your MS.
That's what I thought. Perhaps I'm just not coping well at the moment with the diagnosis of MS (even though it's been six years) I know I feel as though the doctors have abandoned me to just live with the symptoms I have and get on with it. Maybe my anger is at having this illness. I just can't understand anyone wanting the diagnosis of MS. Maybe it's that old saying that people don't know what they've got till it is gone. When your health goes you look back and would give anything to turn the clock back.