Last reply 3 months ago
But you're not disabled…

Disabled or not, people are people.

I was recently accused of being ableist by someone in a wheelchair who was being v. aggressive when I suggested she would get further if she dialled down the hostility a bit.

I have no doubt being in a chair is hugely frustrating at times. There is still no need to go around primed to be angry.

I cracked up and told her that judging by appearances has pitfalls and dug out my cane for her perusal.

The conversation dried up at that point.

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highlander
3 months ago

@dominics
It happens…. I freak people out when I tentatively get out of my chair in a shop or car parks i seem to always get the disbelieving looks of you can walk why are you parked there.
It’s almost has its own high way code as such, wheelchair first walking stick then powered scooters.
Through into the mix a mother and her baby push chair your on the brink of Armageddon little moaning ugly babies always comes top cos it’s special and requires all the room in the world.
Keep on trucking.


jane_watts
3 months ago

@dominics

I’ve been there and it’s not pleasant it still can happen of today.
Unfortunately there are people that are extremely condescending and judgemental, still we all remain mannerly and respectful in fairness to ourselves, well done sir continue battling the good fight.
I’m thinking that kind of negativity from few individuals is possibly worldwide it’s very sad that such individuals can be so bad mannered and assume far too much.

You handled this incident excellently well done.

.


dominics
3 months ago

@jane_watts I used to be a Bobby and a Squaddie back in the day. Telling people to wind their neck in is a skill that comes with both those roles. ๐Ÿ™‚


highlander
3 months ago

@jane_watts
As an ex squaddie my self meeting interesting people and shooting them is kinda frowned upon these days…..doesn’t look good in the papers over breakfast!


watsoncraig
3 months ago

Got โ€œthe lookโ€ waiting to use a disabled toilet from a woman in a chair who followed it up with the comment โ€œjust because you are on crutches does not give you a reason to use this looโ€. Thankfully I have cards that state I have MS in my wallet as I was speechless?


jane_watts
3 months ago

@dominics
&
@highlander

Great training. Excellent patience, both of you to be admired. ๐Ÿ‘


jane_watts
3 months ago

@watsoncraig

Fabulous idea, ๐Ÿ‘ Certainly gives me food for thought ๐Ÿค” Can I please borrow your idea? Might stave off some individuals. Brilliant idea of yours!


superman
3 months ago

@watsoncraig
You should have said “I’m doing a business here and say you’ve done it”


dominics
3 months ago

@watsoncraig – I agree with the practical aspect, though there is something in me that feels that I shouldn’t have to prove my disability to anyone, least of all someone who has taken the view that because they have visible evidence of theirs they have somehow achieved the right in Top Trumps Disability to interrogate others.

I suggest they reconsider their rush to judgement and should they remain feeling aggrieved after their period of self-reflection they tell someone else who gives a shit.

I fight back the urge to suggest that if they tried hard enough they too could walk ๐Ÿ˜‰


mermaidia11
3 months ago

Ableist
A PERSON or People who discriminate or social prejudice against people with disabilities. It can also be someone who judges or makes fun of someone with a disability

And

โ€œI fight back the urge to suggest that if they tried hard enough they too could walk ๐Ÿ˜‰ โ€œ

If ur intention in posting this was to alienate and upset those of us secondary progressives, (for whom arguing the benefits of dmds is pointless) then well done ! Right yet again @dominics! Well done! Your comments did me anyway

– [ ] We have the exact same ilncurable, degenerative illness as you, but I guess itโ€™s true – you donโ€™t truly know until you know

You are also right when you u say,

โ€œI suggest they reconsider their rush to judgement and should they remain feeling aggrieved after their period of self-reflection they tell someone else who gives a shit.โ€

Nice.


dominics
3 months ago

@mermaidia11 – Good morning to you too. My tongue seems to have become wedged in my cheek. I do apologise. There is a reason for the flippancy.

If one, of any one of the thousands of discernible subgroups of our species, individual or group decides to extend a valid argument that they are being treated in an unequal manner past a useful point, then whoever they are, in my mind, they open themselves up to derision.

Additionally, they are doing that subgroup a disservice when they stop acting decently towards others, because the recipient of this unpleasant behaviour can end up lumping the entire diaspora which they purport to represent into a misguided stereotype.

a caveat that should be that when one starts to cloak themselves in the distinguishing factor – disability/race/gender/religion are the current popular tropes – as opposed to being the individual that they are first one out to be automatically wary of them. The individual I encountered was doing just that.

FYI – The word Ableist first appeared in our language between 1985-90. Activist groups with an agenda often invent a language in an attempt to legitimise their perceived cause. This is understandable as the power behind language is the collective power (ethnolinguistic vitality) of the communities that speak the language.

You seem to be trying to take offence on behalf of everyone with SPMS (??) to bolster your obvious indignation at the fact that I believe to be human and decent to one another first trumps all other things. If you feel alienated and upset because of the poor behaviour of, and my subsequent reaction to, a.n.other person with a disability – for I did not inquire as to the nature of it – I cannot change that. I can but tell you that was not my intention.

If I was not clear enough that I was being tongue in cheek with my reply for you, please accept my apologies. I do not appreciate the fact that you are trying to bolster your level of offence that you have chosen to take by citing others who are at the same stage of the disease. Occam’s Razor anyone?

Human society faces enough challenges (Global Warming for example) without spending energy arguing over the degrees to which one is disabled. It strikes me as an absurd way to spend our time.


potter
3 months ago

I carry a copy of a letter that states I am disabled. We were going on vacation and stopping a a historic site in a National Park. The internet site said that in order to use one of their wheelchairs you would need a letter from your doctor. My neuro wrote it for me, I didn’t need to use it the historic site was very small. I could see it standing in one spot. I carry it anyways in case I run into a situation. Potter

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