@theaddicane , I can understand your despair, but in life nothing is black or white. And, you're trying to make your resolution of the situation black or white. There are various shades of grey between those two extremities. We just have to identify what shade of grey we are and then get our minds around making that shade a bit lighter. Life isn't easy for anyone. But, contemplating suicide is both cowardly and selfish. It may seem to be your answer, but how many questions would it leave to those that you leave behind. Please try and adopt a philosophy that tomorrow is always going to be a better day. That works in perpetuity. :wink: Isolation can be a major driver behind depression. Personally, I'm happy that I'm living in the day of the internet. I have a wealth of friends, many who are in a similar position to me. We all work together to ensure that no-one feels alone or unsupported. I count you amongst that wealth of friends. Anyone who takes an easy way out, leaves the rest of us questioning our own continued existence. So, keep talking here, amongst your friends and let's see if we can tame your demons.

I was so moved by your message. I would not presume to advise you in any way but I feel so very sad that things have become so bleak for you. Have you a GP or an MS nurse you could talk to? Another thought is to try phoning the Samaritans, they are non judgemental and used to listening to people in despair It is good that you wrote your message on this website. I am sure that as well as Stumbler there must be many others who empathise with your feelings. Also I guess some have had feelings similar to yours. Please keep writing your thoughts and feelings down. Take care. Millie