I know this may sound silly but maybe she is being self-critical of herself. I am also out of work right now and at times I become self-critical and envious. Maybe remind her that she is important and lift her spirits.

Hey peterpark, sounds like hard times. And also as if she lashes out due to her own frustration. The things you do, she can no longer do herself. Open door, i know. Armchair psychology in English? But recognisable, i'm afraid. And at some point you take things for granted, the help and understanding. So when someone, (you) changes something in doing things, or reacts in a different way, the other one is not used to that. Speaking for myself, all the support i got from my partner had become so normal, standard, that i expected, even demanded loving care, empathy and what not. Are you tired? Ha! I'm the Queen of fatigue! (I wasn't alwas like that) But hate to admit it, a chronic illness made my quite selfcentered at times. Then covid came and i infected him. Not on purpose ofcourse, but he developed long covid or chronic-covid. So the roles were reversed. Even worse, ending up in the i.c, had to call an ambulance 3 times and he's out of the job he loved, his own gardening business. I was (sometimes am) worried sick, desperate, seeing the one i love the most hurting and struggling. And then it struck me. Thìs is what he must feel often, seeing me struggle for 11 years now. We talked about it, cried about it and promised eachother to watch out for ourselves and the other one. I was so upset, i wish i could take his burden. Im a pro by now, after all. Right, if there is a point to all this, it's proberply clear by now. But i think you háve to talk to eachother about this. Not accusingly, but letting her know that her ms is effecting you to. It hurts to see her like this and knowing there's nothing you can do to help her. And, éveryone has a right to been seen and appreciated. Right. Therapist is out