For the guys...
Just a question for those MS guys, lads, gents, chaps, and fellows out there. Do you find this MS thing a bit of a drag on your masculinity?
We are a bit hard-wired to compete with our fellow men; drinking more, doing more, being better at sports, having more sex and such. We grow out of it a bit, but its always there. I know that, personally, I can have a few quiet drinks with girl mates and it’s all fine but as soon as the lads come out its ‘go hard or go home’ and I hammer it (not wise, a balanced drunk I am not. Mind out.)I can't do that thing,even if pissed me gives it a go. I'm finding I'm hanging out with girl mates more, partially because of the drinking, partially because they don’t want to go climbing Kilimanjaro or paintball each other to death on the weekend, they are happy for a coffee or a film. And then there’s ‘pulling' (disgusting term.) Going to a pub or club I might be happy to peruse the wares, have a chat with a few notable lady folk but, when it comes to getting a girl back for some late night twister I simply can’t be bothered. Ill be happy if I can get home without ploughing my face into a parked taxi and I’m certainly not going to risk having a girl in tow.
I am just wondering if anyone else has these ‘losing some kind of stereotyped manliness’ feelings, or can share similar experiences. I don’t think I would be alone with this.
I was a soldier and still carry the physical presence I used to have. My voice is also still parade ground loud, haha. People still respect me for this reason, so I don't feel less of a man. I've pulled many women as well and still get approached by the ladies, even with the scrap metal on my arms (crutches, lol). I do prefer the company of women though, but always have, I've never been into football, so mens generally banal conversations are a no-no for me anyway. I do have male mates who I go for a night out with, but with the aim of finding a new partner in life. As far as the mountain climbing and all that, I did it when I was young and able bodied. What pisses me off is not being able to go for a normal walk.
You are not alone. Although my physical symptoms are pretty minor compared to many; it's still in my self-concious somewhere that now I am 'broken' and therefore less of the man I could be It doesn't help that as a 43 yo man (with a 42 yo wife) I'm facing the natural drop in testosterone that we all face as we grow old, coupled with my wife's increased libido and spending a lot of time exercising and such. In a lot of ways she's on her way up and I'm on my way down and it does mess with your head as to your self-image of desirability and manliness and worthiness. The MS just really puts a nasty twist on it all