Work / Guilt
A bit of history. Dx 2008, at the time working as a teacher (secondary, English). Went down to 3 days a week in 2010. Had a ‘devastating’ relapse in 2013 and in 2015 finally admitted defeat and have been a supply teacher since then. Over the last few weeks, I’ve had a pseudo relapse so at the moment am at home recovering. I feel constant guilt for being at home resting - I feel that I should just get on with it and go to work like a ‘normal’ person. Is MS enough of a reason to spend most of my time taking care of myself? I know the answer, but I can’t stop beating myself up about it! Thoughts?
Hi there, I'm in education too so I understand your dilemma. On the one side, is the fact that when going through relapses or symptoms, we all know that it is impossible to give of your best. Pupils need good judgement, empathetic teaching and passion for them to learn at their optimum. So no way can you feel guilty that you're not able to provide that for them. Secondly, MS teaches us - brutally sometimes - to learn to HAVE to think of ourselves as priority in order to remain sane. You didn't ask to have MS and feeling guilty will bring you down. You need to take good care of yourself and get back on your feet again. Supply teaching is supposedly planning/prep free, but a conscientious person such as your self might need something deeper than that. You could consider setting yourself up as a tutor, there's always a need for that. You can study online for qualifications in dyslexia, for example and maybe this could benefit your school if you were able to provide that? Keep your spirits up, things are cloudy for you at the moment, but once you get back on top again and acknowledge the need for recovery through taking time out, everything will become clearer. Sending you positive vibes........x
@emaweston I agree with @vixen - I feel selfish too but I think we all have to make ourselves the priority otherwise we are of no use to anyone. Im a police officer and currently work reduced hours and am feeling terribly guilty and debating formally going part time. Its harder when symptoms flare up as it certainly clouds my mind and makes me alot more emotional about things. I just try to remind myself not to give myself too hard a time :-)