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Good morning everyone

I am still trying to get used to this site, so if I don't respond to you then I apologise in advance. Getting up this morning, making sure my son is up and ready for school, do other things like a bit of washing, tidying and things I can try an get done whilst husband is at work. Sometimes I feel useless cos I'm not getting ready to go out to work. Brings me down. Just letting off steam because I can.

ahh, so being home to see your son off to school is a very valid 'job' ! I always remember my daughter at 13, when I did 2 afternoon/evening shifts a week in a large kitchen - she never said a word. After I left the job (just before my MS diagnosis as I kept dropping things and was so fatigued) - she said how glad she was that I'd be there again as she'd hated coming home to no Mum to have a cuppa and a chat with!! See it as a silver lining if you can.... not always easy but precious moments and they go so fast in hindsight. I often feel the same now as only work a few hours from home, but also crochet and gift loads of blankets, scarves etc which hopefully bring a little joy to others :) (now I need to remember my own advice!)


I've been a stay at home dad for 8 years now due to my health. Before that I had a well paid senior management job for many years with all the independence, fancy car nice suit etc etc. Now I spend my mornings just like you, dragging myself out of bed at 5.30am shattered, sore and dizzy to make sure everybody is ready for school, taking the washing down, cleaning up the breakfast mess and taking the dog out before spending the entire day alone (apart from my dog who is a blessing). I wish I could still put my tie on, slip my jacket on and grab my car keys and head off for a day in the office, all the fun interactions with my awesome team and all the adrenaline moments that were involved in my line of work. But I can't. I've stopped being depressed about it now and I've learned to love the moments I have to enjoy some of the hobbies and activities I like to do at home. When I feel like I'm not contributing enough I'll do some cleaning or organising etc and over time I have my families home my job. I have found ways to feel a sense of achievement and purpose by making sure all the little things are sorted out for the family. Clothes washed, rooms tidied, cleaning done, small DIY jobs completed. I don't push myself too hard and on bad days just try to do one or two simple things that I know will impact my family in a positive way. When I tell people I'm a house husband or stay at home job they actually say "That's a tough job" because most people don't want to have to clean and tidy and manage a home. It is a job, if it wasn't cleaners, child minders and handy people etc wouldn't exist. The loneliness can get to you. And the feeling of being trapped when you can't walk well or can't drive etc. But you have to find ways around that by taking time to reach out to people to chat to, text or even just message on here. Make sure to spend time doing video calls with people as well. I'm currently setting up Christmas presents for my family in the form of Amazon Echo Shows so they can drop in on me and I can call them by video for a few minutes a day just to touch base and have some human interaction. I'm sure your other half appreciates everything you do and I'm sure they see many strengths in you that they don't have. Chin up. Sounds like you a being a great help. If you wanted to remind yourself of how much you do make a list of everything you actually do to help in the family. Once you start noting down everything you will be surprised with how much value you actually bring. Have a great day, stay positive. You are valued and you are not alone.