Last reply 1 month ago
Angry at myself

Apologies for ranting & any offence caused but I don’t have anywhere else to say this.
I am so bloody angry at my body, myself and the world in general.
I was diagnosed 4 years ago and have recent noticed that my mobility and cognitive skills are deteriorating I am terrified as to what the future holds for me.
An individual who lives locally was diagnosed at the same time who works full time & walks 5 miles everday and I feel that she looks down on me for driving 100 yards to the local store.
I detest the fact that others can’t see the pain I am in.
I feel like many people judge me because I don’t do what she does.
I appreciate that this is most likely my own over thinking but I can shake the feeling that I want to shout from the top of my lungs all the symptoms I have which I try so damn hard to battle against every day.
I know the MS is different for everyone but why do some people seem to get away with hardly any impact at all xXx

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jamoranto
1 month ago

I hear ya Bean. U shouldn’t care what people think about what u need to do to get around. If they know what we are dealing with most people with a heart will understand. If not screw them
Best Jorge


beanbag
1 month ago

@jamoanto thank you xXx


nutshell88
1 month ago

Hi

Im lazy yes I admit I never exercise because my generation never did at school in saudi just not used to it im almost still 44kg in age 31 annoyed of that
15 yrs with ms have a job I dance I live my life how my body tell me my balance is bad
Because my brain and thinking is wrecked. I was daignosed as wee Saudi girl age 17 in age 25 moved to uk finished my study worked but mainly had fun for being in Europe for first time

Enjoy ur life but don’t harm urself with unhealthy things if ur legs are tired simply don’t walk for long do whatever ur body asks u and do wat makes u have good time

Honestly call me crazy but since day one I treat ms my body as a separate individual challenging it mentally dare it to show me the worst thing it got because I spoil myself it’s this life I enjoy it to the limit as long as it first cause stress


rivka
1 month ago

@beanbag, I hear you. I have had seemingly well meaning friends say “ do you know blah blah? She has MS just like you and she climbed Everest as her own Sherpa after she biked there from Mongolia where she started a new business”
Then they stare at my cane pointedly and arch the eyebrows……
Yep. I’m just lazy and wanted a better seat on the bus. 🤔


merfield
1 month ago

@beanbag, I hear you too and understand how you feel : a good friend dxd long before me is still able to walk and work- I was dxd in 2016 and am now in a wh/ch plus a live in carer. I’m ppms and so is she. I don’t get angry – what’s the point? I just take each day as it comes and enjoy the things in CAN do and dont dwell on the things I can’t. Easy to say but it takes determination and practice and will power. I just won’t let anything especially MS piss me off. Life is too short. So as @nutshell says – enjoy. xx


chezy17
1 month ago

I’m gonna give a picture from the other side of the coin as I am one of the ones that as you say, ‘Has MS with little or no impact on their lives!’
I’m forever hearing that I look so well, that I can’t possibly have MS because I don’t have it as bad as some people. All the time, I’m made to feel guilty because I’m well. The thing is, I don’t feel guilty, I feel thankful, I’m sorry that some peeps have it worse than I do but at the same time I can live that life, be there for my munchkins and still be a mum, a friend, a daughter and a sister with little impact. Yes, I’m really tired sometimes as for me it’s not visible on the outside but I enjoy the little things and know that life is too short. Focus on the good things in life, even I use my car on a really tired day, life is not a competition so smile always and find the rainbows. 😊


stumbler
1 month ago

@beanbag , things can get frustrating sometimes. It’s better to rant and rave rather than to a loved one.

And don’t worry about what others think. You’re not going to be able to control their thoughts, so let them think what they like. You have no need to justify yourself to small-minded people.


karlsohare
1 month ago

@beanbag I feel you I feel exactly the same, I’m so angry there is always someone that knows someone with ms and they are marvellous an doing brilliant etc

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