I have had RRMS for the past 10 years (happy anniversary mee!)
I have a fantastic wife and a 4-year-old child. I am now weeks away from the arrival of my second child and thought I would share my thoughts on how I am feeling, just in case any other MS parent-to-be is knocking around.
We always knew that we wanted a brother or sister for my son and when my wife told me she was pregnant, I was instantly happy...for a short period of time.
Don't get me wrong I'm happy still, but that initial news made me excited, then I started listening to that side of the brain that likes to remind you that “you, Luke have MS!”.
I have had a pretty rough year this year [with the MS] so far, as I tend to get worse during the winter and then it takes longer to recover. I remember asking the doctor shortly after finding out about Bundle of Joy 2: the second coming, about Ocrevus (what I’m currently on) and if it does anything to halt my existing damage, which is something I never thought to ask about until the future started making me THINK! The doctor mentioned that it doesn’t stop the existing damage from worsening, but it will slow it down. Which was bittersweet, but I’ll take it.
I’m using a walking stick more often now, which I was stubborn about using it for a while, but it is a lifesaver for keeping me on track with walking in a relatively straight line. I’m also in my mid-30s and I think you care less about your “image”.
My son has started to understand that I sometimes need a stick and it’s great that he is aware of my limitations from an early age. Today, he said that he would like to help with the housework when I am tired, which I thought was great to hear from a boy that’s obsessed with chucking toys and lego all over the place. QUICK TIP: Leave the toys lying around your living room for a mini MS obstacle course, to improve your balance (ITV get in touch for my Saturday night MS telly pitch!)
But, anyway, back to my initial fears of child numero 2.
I started to become scared thinking that I may not be able to handle being a dad to 2 kids, when I’m getting worse, but it was because of those words my son said, that he will help out made me realise that I’m not alone. My wife says it too, but that “normal” part of my brain is telling me “Don’t have someone your own age help you out, you weirdo” (I assume other people have their Jekyll (“normal”) and Hyde (MS) brain conversations?)
I am still stubborn, but I am slowly starting to realise, that I have limitations with what I can do (I know it's been 10 years!) and that it is ok to ask for help. I have a great wife that likes to give me a kick every time I try to overdo it and a great son with a funny imagination to keep me entertained and can’t wait to see what my next child will be like.
I am sure it will be tough, but life is tough regardless of ability. As long as we are happy, have great friends and family and stay positive and laugh, then who gives a shit if life is tough because we can all adapt.
…not like transformers, but we can adjust without the “chk chk chk che chu” sound effects.
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I have had MS for ten years, I am on ocrevus and baclofen for spasms (not my hobbies, though). I enjoy drawing, filmmaking, cooking, music, films, TV, laughing, company, pretending i can play instruments. Appreciator of a blue badge.You can find me on Instagram @lookwoollyfilms or YouTube