Jokes
I met a bloke in a wheelchair today, his face was battered and bruised.
"What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian." He replied.
"Boxing?" I enquired.
"No..." He said, "...Hurdles."
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It's reassuring to see the Paralympics being policed by both armed and unarmed officers.
My gay son came downstairs today and said, "Dad, have you seen the straighteners?" "Yeah, right here, son," I replied, massaging my knuckles.