@lorag

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lorag

Men can be so cruel and dumb

Well I asked the question to a guy I have been sleeping with 'what isvyour ideal woman cause its obviously not me' his answer 'somebody I can travel with going with is too hard'. Well I asked him to be truthful, but that really really hurt, I can't stop crying cause its true. I have decided to. no longer see this man or any men, it made me think of my past relationships and why they ended even tho I wasn't this bad back then but who knows it might of been the same reason. Life can suck sometimes.

pottypete

@pottypete

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/lorag/' rel='nofollow'>@lorag</a> I think you shot yourself in the foot there. I mean, you asked a man to be honest!!! A MAN!! Not the love of your life. In a casual relationship, this is a deadly question to ask of anyone, male, or female. I've always said, never ask a question that you don't want answered. Don't give up on finding love, there are some decent people out there, even if they're hard to come by. I know that as I'm looking, myself.

Stumbler

@Stumbler

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/lorag/' rel='nofollow'>@lorag</a>, in life, there is love and there is sex. You need to decide what you want from the man you share your bed with. Make that your decision. You'll know when love and sex are merging. It will all feel so natural. There's no harm in using blokes for your physical requirements. They'll probably be more than happy to oblige. But, you'll know when love comes along. Don't give up on the basis of this experience.

Mererid

@Mererid

Hey, I second what everyone else says! Don't give up! You're a beautiful-looking girl and you come across as being a lovely person so things WILL work out for you. It's a waiting game for all of us, unfortunately. Sometimes it feels never-ending, but you've got to think positively. Gosh, dating is a pain anyway, but having MS adds a whole new dimension to it, doesn't it? xx

lorag

@lorag

Thanks guys, yeah I know I asked it just really affected when the first thing said is because of my MS he isn't interested in a relationship. I should respect myself more. Thats my new year resolution.. and yes dating is a pain Mereid.

Mererid

@Mererid

That says more about him than about you, <a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/lorag/' rel='nofollow'>@lorag</a>.

cameron

@cameron

I know there are many honourable exceptions e.g. the men on this site, but in the main men don't cope too well with situations like ours. You only have to look at the number of wives coping on their own with sick or disabled children - the husbands having run away from the stress of it all. Sad but a fact of life. Better to find out at an early stage before you've wasted too much time on him! As others have said, you are worth more.

Gav

@Gav

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/lorag/' rel='nofollow'>@lorag</a> Men can be stupid, inconsiderate idiots, but so can women, you've seen the jeremy vile show right? You are a beautiful person, I'm sure, everyone can be and from what I've seen of your posts you're a nice person to boot. One of the downsides of people is the potential to be a bit...reactionary? and frequently will say things you don't like to hear, but life is short, it is fleeting. In my book its best to spend the majority of your time with those that make you feel good and are nice to you because they are out there :-)

reddivine

@reddivine

Don't give up on men ALTOGETHER! Life aint hopeless. Yes you will meet some losers but be upfront with em and if they truly care, they will love you for who you are, not what they would prefer. Blokes like that are special but hang on in there....when you aren't looking, you will meet someone!

VixR

@VixR

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/se7enity/' rel='nofollow'>@se7enity</a>,Galaxy Quest? LOVE it!! <a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/lorag/' rel='nofollow'>@lorag</a>, don't give up on finding someone, he does exist and he's looking for you!

VixR

@VixR

<a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/se7enity/' rel='nofollow'>@se7enity</a>,Galaxy Quest? LOVE it!! <a href='https://shift.ms/community/people/lorag/' rel='nofollow'>@lorag</a>, don't give up on finding someone, he does exist and he's looking for you!

emmak

@emmak

When I once asked a man to be honest (Ha ha) His answer was someone who is better in bed than a cripple. obviously not the one for me, my answer was, "funny you're worse" But please trust me Mr right is out there. There is enough stupid guys out there, the good ones are on short supply but absolutely not extinct

IE

@IE

Everybody can be cruel and dumb. My ex, for instance, felt sure I was cheating on her (stupid paranoid tart, she is sweet but also has quite a dark side.) She was jealous if I even looked towards another woman. Me talking to the opposite gender was considered to be flirting... When together, she started staying at work longer and later every night, gradually started to avoid me, wouldn't even let me touch her hand at one point... She made me go through hell and I would still stand up for her. Then she dumped me, I saw it coming, all the signs where there. The more I'd try to get closer, the further away it would push her. She told me she still loved an ex, he needed her and she always loved him and never loved me. She was thinking about him every time we had sex... After that, I learnt from a mutual bus driver friend that she had been cheating on me, with other bus drivers, not one, two for sure and maybe even more. She phoned me out of the blue a little less than a year after I left, it was this summer. Her grovelling back, "I'm so sorry, I can't stop thinking of you, I have always loved you ever since we first met. I know I was very harsh on you but it was to protect you from me, I don't deserve you, you are great and out of my league...". At the moment she still lives with her ex, who has a child and just divorced his wife, his wife wants to get back with him since the divorce... It is just a summary, yet I find her dumb and cruel. Sometimes I think she may have caused the divorce in the first place, I don't know. I just know that they where first together when he was still married. I'll also admit to being dumb, part of me still loves her but I don't want her back, I just can't trust her. What is the point of a relationship without trust. So I'm single again, don't have to be but it is the best option at the moment. Stuck with someone who can't be trusted or being single. :( Being single keeps my options open. :) Then again, I am too lame to seize opportunities when they present themselves. I nearly never go out any more, probably even less than once a year. Last time I went out (On Saturday :) )I was astonished at the amount of women flirting with me, yet I started to feel closed, picky. Not interested in a girl I found attractive because she was clearly high on MDMA? Another was all over me, quite attractive as well yet I felt as if she only wanted to get laid, and was clearly very drunk. I overheard another mention a deal breaker when she was talking with somebody else... "My boyfriend..." she probably wondered where I disappeared to after that. There was this one girl who kept coming to dance in front of me, kept looking towards me, seemed to be looking for me when I walked off to the bar. I ordered a soft drink and felt as if I was the only sober person in the club. Once I had my drink I went back to the same spot I was before and she had gone, I looked around and saw her at the bar. I continued dancing at the same spot and she walked past me, right in front with a bottle and glasses. My brain went numb, she could have easily walked around the dance floor but chose to struggle in front of me with her arms full. Lots of eye contact, it seemed clearly to be an invite, but I lost her, didn't see where she went and I needed to sit down. She had been non stop coming to dance with me, we swapped loads of smiles, had a lot of eye contact and I still managed to blow it!!! Sometimes it isn't just men or women who are dumb and cruel, sometimes it is life itself!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Still worth hanging on no matter what gets thrown in our way!