I feel like im progessing to SPMS.
I have had RRMS for 8 years now. For the past year I feel. My MS has only gotten worse. How do I defrienate the diffrence? The diffrence I see is I dont have many "good days" anymore. I used to have some good some bad. Now I feel like they are all bad with the rare good day. Its so frustrating because people look at me and cant see that my body is freaking out on the inside. Im trying to stay positive but its hard not knowing what your future will hold. I have been divorced 3 years now and I am sooo lonely. Of course I dont miss him because he divorced me because of my MS but its tough. Dating sucks always pretending to be strong so they dont see my illness and how it affects me. Im exhausted. I dont even want to date but feel compelled to so I don't have to be alone. I guess im hopeful that my prince charming will come along and save me. Lol. Anyway. .......I just dont know about anything. Feeling lost.
You may be right, you may not be. I can only speak for what goes on on my MS, of course, but I can't separate the physical symptoms from my mental state. It's as if the MS is tamed (well, at its minimal level) when I have all the ducks in a row - well slept, calm, no rushing about, well exercised, not eating rubbish etc etc. And it's not particularly easy to be/do all the above - life tends to get in the way! The moment I slip up, it's like a switch going on and I start with jumpy legs, 'fizzing' sensations, numbness and so on. Could it be that your worries and low mood are kick-starting everything? I've been told that they don't dx SPMS lightly or in a hurry. It can apparently take many months for them to be sure that's what happening. Before you convince yourself of it, would it be an idea to discuss the psychological issues with your GP and get some help, perhaps through a talking therapy? I've found that my energy levels connect directly to quality/quantity of sleep and also exercise, but I've only been aware of that since I retired and used the spare time to really get the exercise thing organised. Just too busy before. Re-reading what you've written, I wonder if you've spent so much energy/time caring and looking after others that you've not had much 'me time'. The MS would certainly love that! xxxx Big hugs
Now, I did actually feel that they diagnosed my SPMS lightly and in a hurry. One day I was RRMS, on Betaferon and then I got told I needn't bother with the Betaferon. I'm quite philosophical and I took it at face value. I didn't mind stopping the injections. That was back in 2010. Now, when I go and have my annual Neuro MOT, I get asked how I've been. My usual answer is that year-on-year I've got worse, but I'm unsure if it's the MS progressing or old age creeping in! But, try and enjoy the moment and live for the day. I'm not suggesting overdoing it, but try not to get too worried about tomorrow. In my world, tomorrow never comes, but if it does, it's always going to be a better day! :???: Just start enjoying being you, because it's you who has MS, not the MS that has you! And, don't give up dating. You now have a special quality - you now know what is important in life as you've had the opportunity to re-assess everything. You won't get caught up with the normal preponderance with material possessions. And, with a smile like yours, you won't be lonely for long. ♥