@Lauren_Bailey

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Lauren_Bailey

Relationships

Hey everyone, I’ve just joined and thought I’d ask when dating how do people bring this up? I feel like I’m going to be single forever haha

lukezni

@lukezni

Hey @lauren_bailey I've had ms over a year and in that time I've never attempted to start dating again until recently, I've been sorta trying again. I'd rather be open about it earlier than later, like it would be shit to go out on dates with someone and get close for them to be put off once we finally get the courage to open up about our condition. If you tell someone sooner and they are put off then at least it's less time to catch feelings for one another. I wouldn't just bring it up mid conversation tho like btw I have ms haha. I would bring it up when someone is asking what I do in life etc etc

LauraB90

@LauraB90

@lauren_bailey Hey Hun, I'm in the exact same boat 🙈 I don't know how to bring it up... The thought of being single forever is freaking me out haha 😂

Lauren_Bailey

@Lauren_Bailey

Hey @lukezni, Thank you for the reply. I’m pretty much in the same boat and was diagnosed 18 months ago but there was lesions on my brain 6 years ago that was passed off as normal. I think sometimes it’s harder as I have an MS related tattoo on my collar bone so people do tend to ask about it. I think what I struggle with is MS is so personal and everyone is so different and the little people do know about MS is normally they think the worst if that makes sense.

Lauren_Bailey

@Lauren_Bailey

Hey @Laurab90, Tell me about it. I actually broke up with my ex shortly after I was diagnosed and it wasn’t because he wasn’t there for me because he was but i just didn’t have the mental capacity to stretch that far to deal with a relationship on top of my diagnosis and my dad had also just been diagnosed with a brain tumour, also having a two year old, it was just too much for me to handle all at once.

LauraB90

@LauraB90

@lauren_bailey I did the exact same, we were together 7 years prior, he was great with it all, but I too just didn't have the head for the relationship and didn't think it was fair to him. Oh no! Sounds like you've had alot to deal with 😔 I hope things are a little better for you now (well as better as they can be) It's just tricky isn't it, if you say nothing are you lying about something pretty bloody major but if you do are they going to run a mile 😂 Plus being out of the dating scene so long doesn't help does it 🙈

Lauren_Bailey

@Lauren_Bailey

@laurab90 I’m glad it’s not just me, I felt that same way. It’s so hard. Not sure about better haha but we just keep cracking on. My son keeps me going sometimes with his silly little things! That’s the thing I’m like in would rather be honest and upfront but most people just don’t understand the reality of MS and think worst case scenario. It’s so freaking hard and I hate it. Ugggggh

LauraB90

@LauraB90

@lauren_bailey Aw I know , you have to just keep going don't you. As I've said to someone before, hats off to you for going through this with a small child 🙈 So would I! I hate keeping things from anyone, I'm an open book....just not in this case 😂

sarahgracesc

@sarahgracesc

I JUST got a diagnosis, but have been suffering off and on my entire life. I have had periods where I seem to heal and do well, and years at a time that have been truly horrific. So, I knew I had some autoimmune stuff, but I didn’t know MS. I’ve been married 3 years, and met him a year prior to that. It honestly was smitten at first sight. We hit it off immediately, and there was no going back. But I was feeling pretty darn good at that point. I let him know that my health has always been pretty hit or miss. So, at least he was aware of that. It has gotten SO MUCH WORSE over the past few years. But the last 6 months have been rapid and brutal. He’s devoted, and is my rock. I know this is hard, but people who are worth a damn won’t run. It’s not something I’d ever expect anyone to do, but I also wouldn’t bother to date anyone who wasn’t willing to try, know what I mean?

John_Constable

@John_Constable

I'm generally open about it. First few years was obvious as I was in a wheelchair till I discovered cannabis extracts. Generally you get a positive reaction but it makes it easy to see what kind of person you are dealing with. It's mainly upto your mentality. Ms is either stopping you living your life or its just an obstacle you can overcome with lots of practice and perseverance

ItsMewithMS

@ItsMewithMS

I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my upper 30's, married with one child. He was Dx with UC before I was and I accepted that, no issue, so I think he felt that he had to deal with my Dx in the same way. Face it- no one is a perfect package. We tend to think we are the ones with the biggest issue but that isn't always true. We shouldn't expect anyone to be perfect...because no one ever is ;-)

chezy17

@chezy17

My ex left after 15 years almost 4 years ago for greener grass when I was going through my diagnosis. We have two munchkins together and it literally blindsighted me at the time because it was such a shock! I've spent the last few years just getting my head around it all and my diagnosis, concentrated on me and the kids but in hindsight I've done so much more than I have ever done. Personally I don't think he was strong enough to deal with it all and I wouldn't want to be with someone that resented me for it. Although, you wouldn't know I have it though but it is what it is. Personally I'd be honest from the get go but I'm kinda liking doing my own thing 😂 😂. Take care, just be happy doing what you want to do 😊.

AndrewPrevite

@AndrewPrevite

Hi Lauren relationships ...... I always told girlfriends that I had ms. Most (the good ones !) said "so what", those that got freaked out did not remain girlfriends for long (my choice) as they were uniformly self-centred and the ms issue flagged it. So be up front and the right people will love you for being you with or without a medical condition. If they start "I can't go out with you because of your ms" then they are the wrong person for you. ...... My last 4 girlfriends (after diagnosis) were fine with it and then I got married (not married now but that was definitely not ms related !) If you meet someone you like - plunge in with both hands ! and tell 'em and have fun !