@blondieglam 

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blondieglam

Please help or advice would be great!

I’m in a new relationship (over 2 months) and my boyfriend has MS. We are 38 and I also suffer from several autoimmune diseases myself. My questions are this......... 1- I think he may have addictions He drinks, vapes, and dips every day and I know that’s horrible. Is this normal? 2- He seems closed off, like not affectionate at all unless we are having sex. Is this normal? I just need some advice on all this?! I already adore him but I want to make sure I am fully informed. Thanks ❤️
@EdmontonAlberta

@blondieglam Contrary to popular belief, there is no such thing as normal - seriously! Some people prefer to fish; others enjoy the opera, etc... Some enjoy the company of others; some like to be alone - etc... 1) Not sure what a 'dips" is - but I have been drinking & smoking for the past 45+ years. I have kept two women extremely happy with me; my first wife died from Scleroderma (auto-immune disease); my present wife has Lupus. 2) What does "closed off" mean? I can go days without talking to people; that is who I am. Yet when my job / project needs me to talk with people - I become an extrovert. As far as affectionate goes - that is a personal concept (I lay on the couch & rest my feet on my wife's lap). The questions you need to answer in a relationship are "Does he treat you well"? "Does he put you ahead of every other woman (not including family members)"? If the answer is yes... Something to think about...

@Stumbler

@blondieglam , having MS is hard for all of us, but blokes can become insular and introverted as their status as hunter/gatherer is threatened. We all have our own methods of dealing with MS. Vaping is preferable to smoking, and drinking on a social basis is OK. But, excessive drinking could be problematic. Communication is key here. It seems that your physical relationship is OK, but your "spiritual" relationship could be better. Us blokes don't like to talk/admit our vulnerabilities. All you can do is be there for him. So, you're available if he wants to open up. He will do that at a time that feels right for him. The "proof of the pudding" will come when your relationship passes its "Honeymoon phase", when lust and physical attraction need to be replaced with something more meaningful.