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GOD is always there!! He listens and knows everything you are going through. I believe that you are stronger then you think. My mom has passed, I miss her terribly, but I know the last thing she would want is for me to die just because she’s gone. I don’t know your life or how you live, but the church is a wonderful place to meet people and pray about your feelings and your health. If your not into going to church, you can pray at home. There’s people on hear that will listen. Stay strong, and I will say a prayer for you tonight.🙏

I lost my mother last year 😢 She was the only person during my MS journey that was there to listen. 20+ years of it. Ex-wife never cared enough in 14 years, brother - well he has his own life. He’s younger than I and going very bald so I tease him for that, he never cared to understand MS & came across a little condescending about it in days gone by - so deserves losing it & he’s younger than me 😝😂 Tell your mum every day you love her, do something every day that can make her proud. Little things count even if it’s making her a coffee/tea in the morning. Build yourself a new life routine. Going to church is a free option & people are actually very welcoming. I go, don’t remember some prayers, defo can’t sing 😝 I don’t always donate an offering after/during mass. If your new to religion it can become a new personal study. God will be your only judge & people will defo gather around you helping in that respect. I was raised in religion so was easier in that respect. I distanced myself from it a bit but started going back to church regular after my mum passed last year. Now I go every week to Sunday Vigil (Saturday evening). Who would have thought it - not me. All the people I’ve lost & no longer on earth would be proud, I know their monitoring 👀 You may well find a group of people that have regular invitations to do stupid things - like meet in a park for coffee. It’s not a cult. They might even offer for you to bring your mum along for dinner somewhere & no religious talk during. You may find a partner/new friend in the process. First lady that sat next to me when I went back was an elderly lady with Parkinson’s & just noticed I was struggling in life insisting I go sit in the hall in the after to have a chat for a little advice with a tea & biscuit. First outsider I could be open about personal struggles, she was a total stranger. Felt I encountered an angel that evening, I hope she’s well considering. I did tear up in that mass . Was a special mass a neighbour told me about - was celebrating everybody that passed away in the year prior, opportunity to light a candle in my mums memory. Didn’t consider I’d go back at the time Limitless opportunities getting closer to god & living a life with less worry & it’s free. No obligations required Take care & be well. Crying to yourself is allowed. I do it every so often feeling im not worthy. MS is the most unrelateable condition I’ve heard of. Had it now over half my life. Lifes far from over & doesn’t need to be ended sooner. Be well, I offer a prayer for your struggles