Hi everyone. I haven't been active for a while and I've posted some pretty emotionally intense things in the past so thank you to everyone that reached out to me. I was diagnosed in July and things have snowballed significantly. I was meant to start Tysabri (even had an appt) but I'm JCV+. I'm going with Ocrevus now. I've been off of work for maybe 4 months? My initial relapse still seems to be going on. My hands burn, are hypersensitive, numb, cramp and ache all at the same time. I can barely walk without getting extreme calf cramps. Depression has also gotten a firm grasp around my throat. Physio wants to install handrails in the bedroom and toilet. It gives me flashbacks of all the care homes I've worked in. I feel frail and like a crinkly old leaf that will fall off the plant any minute. Benefits have been extremely hard to even find and get help with, and soon I will be in financial struggle. I sleep 20hrs at a time. I am not the same person I was yesterday. I've started drinking a lot and taking drugs because I just don't care and I just don't want to associate with my life anymore. I don't have anyone IRL that can support me. I really want to go to the Exeter MS centre but I am extremely scared of the outside now. I don't even know why I'm typing this out