Support
Hey everyone, From Chicago, IL here. Today marks one year since being diagnosed with MS and to this day, I feel like my life is over and I will never be able to move on, live a normal, healthy and happy life. I have also been diagnosed with OCD on top of my everyday norm since I was 9 of depression and severe anxiety and emetephobia. I wake up everyday hoping and praying I do not go blind, I am able to speak and able to walk. It’s pure torture. It gets better, I have hope and then I feel shot to the heart again.
Any success stories or uplifting/words of wisdom is so welcome 🧡
I note when I pass my MS DX diagnosis anniversary every year. This happened March 2020 right when Covid shutdowns began. It was also the day after my 30th birthday . I was so angry when I was DX’ed. So many things went through my mind: “Why me?” “I’m only 35 and have 2 little kids…I’m going to be disabled.” “What if I can’t take care of my family” “I’m way too busy to deal with this” “How can I pursue my goals with this now?” “It’s not fair” I also felt like no one understood. My family, and my former spouse. They felt “bad” for me and cried for my future. But they don’t understand how it feels. I can only say to my own experience coming through those first years after DX - I had intense health anxiety and it was debilitating. I was in my own head about it. Luckily - I have a close “in real life” friend who also has MS so we could talk about it. I know that’s very rare. I had a pivotal moment where I was shooting for a career change. And I was so stressed about getting the job it caused a pseudo-flare - numbness in my arm and leg. They admitted me to the hospital for steroids but again - I was angry because it happened the day before my final interview. It was supposed to be a video interview. I was so defeated. My new job would entail travel monthly out of state and I felt like it was unethical to even try because “I have MS”…what if I couldn’t do the job or be reliable ? What if my cognition got in the way of me doing things correctly ? I asked the doctors - what do I do?? Should I even go after this job? And they told me: “This disease is manageable. Don’t ever let this disease get in the way of what you want to do.” And that changed my perception. I asked them to take me off the wires and smock - put on some regular clothes and I did my interview in the hospital room - in the corner so they could not see I was in the hospital bed. I got the job. And I’ve been working and traveling. I told my new bosses about my MS later and they support me greatly. I’ll never let MS dictate my decisions again. It’s just my own experience. And I know it’s a process and a journey to accept that you “have MS” - but MS does not have a grip on you! Keep fighting and allow life to come. MS is part of all of us - but it doesn’t have to own us.
Please don't give up on life. Try to be positive - I know it's hard. Focus on what you can do & not what you can't. I put together a bucket list of things I wanted to do before I couldn't do them anymore. Over 30 years on & I am still trying to stay positive. My biggest thing on my list was to see elephant in the wild!