Mission: GET TO THE 6:10 DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENT Somehow, against all known laws of the NHS, I have secured a doctor’s appointment for 6:10pm. This is not a drill. I’ve had a chest infection hanging around like an unwanted house guest, and because I’m on a DMT, apparently we should probably investigate why my lungs have decided to start producing their own limited-edition range of noises. Unfortunately, getting to the doctor requires assembling... THE AVENGERS OF MS 🦸‍♂️ 🛡️ Captain Fatigue Squad leader. Special ability: Can turn putting your shoes on into a three-stage military operation. “We leave at 5:45.” “Excellent. I’ll start getting ready at 2.” --- ⚡ Thor, God of Spasticity Carries no hammer. Doesn’t need one. One calf muscle suddenly contracts hard enough to crack fucking Mjölnir. “WE MUST REACH THE DOCTOR!” Leg: ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. --- 🕷️ Spider-Balance Possesses absolutely none of Spider-Man’s actual abilities. Walks into the kitchen. Dodges a chair. Hits the doorframe. Nearly falls over putting a coat on. Somehow sticks to the wall. “NAILED IT.” --- 🧠 Doctor Brain Fog Supposed to remember why we’re going. Receptionist: “What seems to be the problem?” Me: “Chest...” loading... “...thing.” Doctor: “Infection?” “THAT’S THE BASTARD.” --- 🔥 The Human Torch: Uhthoff Edition Gets slightly warm. Body immediately interprets this as: EVACUATE ALL REMAINING ENERGY. Heating in the waiting room is on 4. Fantastic. I now have the physical capabilities of a jacket potato. --- 💥 The Incredible MS Hug Appears halfway there. Not invited. Chest already feels shit. MS Hug: “Room for one more?” NO. --- 🦹 Crap-Gap Man Technically not an Avenger. Just appears whenever the next DMT dose starts getting close. Powers include fatigue, stiffness and making you wonder whether you're actually ill or whether your immune system has simply started another fucking side quest. --- 🚨 THE MISSION 17:30: Begin preparation. 17:42: Find trousers. 17:47: Sit down after finding trousers. 17:52: Captain Fatigue requests cancellation of entire operation. 17:55: Denied. 18:01: Thor has seized control of left leg. 18:04: Brain Fog cannot remember where the keys are. They are in my hand. 18:07: Arrive. 18:08: Need three business days to recover from arriving. 18:10: Doctor: “So, how long have you had this chest infection?” Me: “Somewhere between three weeks and the fucking Bronze Age.” 😂 But THIS is why pacing with MS matters. Sometimes pacing isn't doing less. Sometimes it's knowing where the boss battle is and not wasting all your health points fighting random dickheads on the way there. Today’s entire energy budget has one objective: GET TO THE 6:10 APPOINTMENT. The Avengers have assembled. Unfortunately they're all symptoms. And none of the useless bastards can drive. 😂🦸‍♂️ --- 😂 Right, which member of the MS Avengers is your favourite? Any symptoms I’ve missed, or are you just here to stand back and marvel at the sheer magnificence of this completely fucking useless superhero squad? 🦸‍♂️😂 Got one I missed? Give them a superhero name and their spectacularly shit superpower in the comments. Best one gets recruited for the sequel. 😂