Snow White stumbled across a cottage containing seven dwarfs. Not the Disney ones. These were the MS dwarfs, where every character comes with a neurologist and a leaflet. 😴 Sleepy slept 10 hours and woke up absolutely shattered. “What did you do yesterday?” “Nothing.” “Today?” “Also looking busy.” 🥴 Wobbly walked into Tesco completely sober and left looking like security should confiscate his car keys. 🧠 Foggy lost his phone. He's currently using the torch on his phone to look for it. ⚡ Tingly: “My leg's vibrating.” “It isn't.” “I KNOW. That's considerably worse.” 🦵 Stiffy had spasticity. An unfortunate name, but apparently Spazzy didn't make it past Disney's legal department. Every morning: “Leg, bend.” Leg: No. “Come on, we've got work.” Leg: Your request has been received and will be ignored. 🚽 Bladder couldn't remember why he'd entered a room but could detect a toilet through three walls and a Costa Coffee. Basically Google Maps for piss. 🔥 Hotty: “Is it warm in here?” “It's 18°C.” “Tell my family I loved them.” Then one morning they ALL woke up feeling brilliant. Huge mistake. Gym. Shopping. Hoovering. Garden. Kids. Dog walk. DIY. By 2pm the cottage looked like somebody had tranquillised the entire cast. Snow White stepped over Sleepy. “Have you lot considered pacing?” “You mean when I have energy... I DON'T immediately use absolutely fucking all of it?” “Correct.” The dwarfs were horrified. Apparently nobody had considered that there's an afternoon. Turns out MS energy is basically a dodgy phone battery. 100% displayed does not necessarily mean 100% available. So they learned to stop before they were completely fucked. And they all lived slightly-less-knackered ever after. Well... Wobbly fell into a hedge, Foggy can't remember the ending, Stiffy's leg has submitted a formal grievance and Bladder's gone for a piss. 🍎 So which MS dwarfs live in your house? And what dwarfs have I missed? I'm convinced there are another 47 of the little bastards hiding in the woods. 😂