RRMS (Relapsing Remitting MS) "The world's worst game of Whac-A-Mole." Symptoms pop up, disappear, then six months later turn up wearing a fake moustache. PPMS (Primary Progressive MS) Like downloading an update... except it's always stuck at "Installing... 17%" and nobody knows when it'll finish. SPMS (Secondary Progressive MS) RRMS eventually says, "I'm tired of plot twists. We're doing a slow-burn drama now." CIS (Clinically Isolated Syndrome) Your nervous system's trailer episode. One weird event, then everyone waits to see if Netflix orders another season. Radiologically Isolated Syndrome (RIS) Your MRI spots trouble before you've even received the memo. Your brain has started a group chat without inviting you. --- Common MS Terms Crap Gap The week before your next Kesimpta or Ocrevus dose where your body suddenly remembers it's got trust issues. Pseudo-relapse MS pretending it's making a comeback because you're too hot, too tired, stressed, ill, or looked at stairs funny. Usually settles once the trigger settles. Relapse Your immune system decides today is a fantastic day to attack the wiring again. Absolutely zero stars on TripAdvisor. Fatigue Not "I need a nap." More "walking to the kettle felt like climbing Everest carrying the kettle." Cog Fog Walking into a room... forgetting why... then forgetting what a room is. Heat Sensitivity The sun becomes your final boss. A warm shower suddenly feels like you're running Windows 95. Spasticity Your muscles decide they're now made of reinforced concrete. Foot Drop Your foot develops a passionate relationship with every doorstep, kerb and rug in Britain. The MS Hug Sounds lovely. Feels like a grumpy anaconda has mistaken your ribs for a stress ball. MRI Scan Forty-five minutes of lying perfectly still while a washing machine starts a heavy metal band around your head. Neurologist Appointment Six months of waiting for a 15-minute conversation where you remember every question... roughly two miles down the road afterwards. Steroids The drugs that can calm a relapse while simultaneously convincing you that cleaning the garage at 3 am is an outstanding idea. Body Battery (Garmin) Somehow knows you're about to feel dreadful before you do. It's less a fitness metric and more a fortune teller wearing a sports watch. Pacing Doing 70% today so you can still do 70% tomorrow. It's annoying... right up until you ignore it and spend two days negotiating with the sofa. "But you don't look ill." The unofficial national anthem of invisible illnesses. 🥇 Good Day "I could conquer the world!" The Following Day "...or maybe just conquer this sandwich." MS is strange. If you don't laugh at it occasionally, it'll think it's winning. 😄