King Midas touched things and they turned to gold. I touch things and they immediately require a warranty claim. Drop a glass? That’s for the gods. Spill something while cooking? Part of the recipe. And my cooking is the stuff of legends. Every spill, drop and minor kitchen disaster adds something unique to the flavour. Basically, clumsiness is my secret ingredient. 😂 Walk into a door frame? Who the fuck put that there? Knock something over? Apparently it had been standing there unchallenged for too long. MS can make me clumsy, tired, stiff, wobbly and occasionally give me the coordination of a shopping trolley with one dodgy wheel. And I used to get properly pissed off with myself about it. Every little mistake felt like another reminder that my body wasn't doing exactly what I told it to do. So I changed my coping strategy. And this might sound stupid, but one of the first things I did was sort my swear words out. 😂 Instead of immediately going: “FOR FUCK'S SAKE!” I've tried to replace it with something ridiculous. “Well, tits on a tractor.” “Slap my arse and call me Bluetooth.” “Well, fuck my socks and call me Nigel.” You can't stay properly angry when you've just shouted something that makes absolutely no fucking sense. 😂 It changes that first reaction from frustration into something I can laugh at. My family have even joined in now. If I drop something while cooking, someone will usually announce: “Part of the recipe!” 😂 But there’s another useful side to it. If I'm dropping more things than usual, walking into everything, getting frustrated or generally operating like I've been assembled without the instructions, I take notice. Am I tired? Hungry? Too hot? Overdoing it? Not slept enough? Do I need to slow down and pace the rest of the day differently? So the joke actually became a little warning system. Laugh at the first dropped spoon. Investigate the fifth. 😂 I can't control every stupid thing MS throws at me, but I can sometimes control whether I turn it into a crisis or a comedy sketch. Basically, I’ve got the Midas Touch from Temu. Everything I touch doesn't turn to gold. It just falls on the fucking floor. 😂 So, what are your coping strategies? If you've been living with MS for a while, what little tricks have you picked up over the years that genuinely help you? Could be pacing, dealing with fatigue, getting through bad days, exercise, keeping your head straight, or something completely ridiculous that somehow works. Drop them in the comments. Someone newly diagnosed might read your stupid little trick and find out it's actually bloody useful. And most importantly... Have you got any creative curse words I can steal? 😂 The more ridiculous the better. My vocabulary needs expanding.