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I was diagnosed March 31st, 2025, And I don't know how to get my family to realize I might never be better... I understand that it's only been a few months, the first year of diagnosis is the first, and this is hard on them too. I am blessed to have a family who can assist me and help provide for me when I can't provide for myself. So please don't see this as me being ungrateful or rude... But I keep getting hit with "when you're feeling better", "what plans do you have?", "What are your goals?" and honestly? I have no fucking idea. My entire life was stolen from me, on top of my body being taken. I was DAYS away from putting my first payment in for cosmetology school before I fell. My partner of almost 2 years broke up with me the second "indicators of MS" was on my paperwork. I had to move from Texas back to Pennsylvania because I couldn't even shower on my own... I am doing better than I was. And there are a few things to still be corrected in PT (from being bedridden and being hyper flexible without knowing for who knows how long. Not to mention I've walked wrong my entire life apparently) There are some things that might not be fixed, might not get better. I do my at home PT almost every day, doing at LEAST stretches even on days where moving feels like hell. I have attempted a day of work.... I didn't even make it 2.5 hours. I have applied for disability. snap, and any other assistance I can get. I am already doing everything I can. And this might be it. The improvements in PT will probably not be life changing, even if I'm still holding onto hope that they will be more effective than I expect them to be. But how do I navigate this? I dont know how to get my mother, who, bless her wonderful heart, took care of my grandmother (Who also had MS but not RR, and passed in Dec.), and now me and my aunt (who has her own issues, not my place to talk about those here) I love her to pieces, and I'm glad to have someone in my corner fighting for me. But it's hard to see the hope in her eyes. The way she talks about "we can try this!" or "this is always an option!". And how I can see that look fade a bit with each day that passes, and while it might not be by much, and I know shes not a quitter... It breaks my heart. How do I look at my mother, who took care of her, and now me, that this might be it? That its exhausting to constantly hear about how this could work or that could help... I understand all of her efforts are meant from a place of love. Really I do. But how do I tell her I'm suffocating? Most people are diagnosed in their late 30's or early 40's... Im not married. I dont have kids. Or a career. I have pretty much nothing. I mean, yes. I have a wonderful family and an amazing new partner... But thats not what I mean... and no one seems to get that. I dont have any independence. I'm scared to shower if no one is home. I can't do the ONE job I thought I'd want to do with my life. I dont have friends, or any ways to make any. I keep looking for something I can do from home- but nothing feels fulfilling. The only thing I wanted more than a career was kids, to be a stay at home. Love and cherish my child/children and turn them into loving, kind, productive members of society. Now even that idea is scary, and seems out of reach. I don't even feel like myself most days. I am in so much pain I'm snippy. Which is NOT typical for me. I don't know how to do most of the things I used to enjoy, and the things I CAN do, I've been doing in bed for 7 months. I'm tired of TV, Crafts, And playing dress up (doing my hair and makeup to just sit in my room). I've worked on a lot in my life. I've overcome a lot. A family member being abusive (including physical, mental and COCSA), the loss of a 3.5 month pregnancy, an abortion (not looking for opinions on this. it tore me apart in ways no one could ever understand, and you couldn't beat me up in ways I haven't done to myself already- so dont waste the energy.) Not to mention the other side effects that are running my life that aren't the physical ones. My hair is thinning and falling out, probably due to both stress and meds. My brain isnt functioning the way it used too. I forget words, can't remember simple things (even my CANE, WHICH I NEED TO WALK AND NOT FALL), I feel stupid all the time. I was never a very "book smart" girl. And I had made peace with that. But sounding like an airhead all the time because I'm sick, kinda ruins my self image. My boyfriend keeps wanting to push me to do less. Not go to this event, not camp in the camper all weekend, only one night.... I know he wants to help, and keep me from over-doing it. But what am I supposed to do? I already don't dance and move around much.. I don't go on my walks anymore. I bring my cane for balance even if I'm not in pain... How do I tell him "I love you for what you're trying to do, and I know if I push myself you usually have to take care of me, But let me make that choice on my own and stop telling me how to live now that I'm sick in a way you will never understand." without saying... that? I want to try to do things. I want to learn my limitations. I want to go out and do things even if im not at my best. I don't want to miss out on everything fun just because he doesn't believe I can do it... I don't want HIM to set MY limits. How do I look at everyone around me, who is full of so much hope, and tell them that their hope is suffocating me...? My step-dad keeps asking about my plans. my goals. My only goal right now is trying to become a functional person. to get one day where I'm not in pain. I can't think about careers, school, or any life goal the way a normal 23 year old would. And its exhausting.... My brain isn't functional enough to try to learn anything new, I've been trying to teach myself things and take free online courses before I apply to any schools.... I feel like I'm borderline incapable of learning at this point... I already had a pretty severe learning disability, but now with this too? I have no idea how to even think about learning about something new.. A job? Forget about it. Anything WFH near me you need schooling for, (I apply anyway, but shocker- dont hear back. even with a year of customer service phone calls under my belt.), I cant physically do any job that requires me to go in person, let alone stand or lift ANYTHING. Life goals are just... Impossible right now. There's no way to predict my day, how am I supposed to predict any part of my life...? Idk, maybe I sound like a spoiled brat. But god does this suck. I hate to say this, but especially at my age. I should be going to work, school, bars. Doing fun things. But instead I spend my days stuck in my room hopeful that I'll get to have a conversation with someone that day... I'm lost. I guess there isnt really any question in here... I just dont know what to do. (My current partner isnt the partner that left me in dec.)