The title is my thoughts for the lead up to the 16th of the month, (every month now) or alternatively I call it my monthly ‘birthday’ as I do feel I receive a present when I inject the drugs into myself. A strange mindset to say it, but my honest thoughts. The ‘drug’ I refer to is Kesimpta. The ‘present’ is the fact that since 19/05/2023 my first injection on the 4 weeks build up doses, that HAS been my protocol. This is now my 3rd medication for my ‘disease’ as I know my body and brain seem too clever in working out what is being attempted which results in it blocking the effectiveness of the medications which causes my ‘beast’ to become highly active. Then the fun of deciding what’s next in the plan for my counter attack in this chess game. It was earlier when I looked back on my own notes, I realised that this medication is the one that I have successfully used the longest now without my body managing to block it. I have to say I feel so privileged to be in a position that I feel I can determine with so many personal choices. I won’t elaborate on those right now as like all we are testing, trying and changing so many things in our lives constantly to keep our individual ‘beasts’ at bay. I remember back to my childhood in the 80’s and my mum who had been diagnosed with MS. As a kid I didn’t understand it the same way as now, no one did. I remember that our lives (me and my two sisters) were different from all the other kids at school. I was unaware at the time but I witnessed first hand how the disease can ‘eat’ a person from the inside until they are literally unable to function any more. Their pain and mind talk constant and everything so frustrating as nobody understood. Yes, I comprehend the journey now, but I’m lucky to say there are so many things available to me that mum didn’t have. This is reflective yes, probably as this is now the morning of the 16th and I injected about 30 minutes ago. What has brought this journey down memory lane is the way I’ve been feeling drained both physically and mentally over the last few days. A ‘symptom’ that my body NEEDS the next dose... something I’m fortunate to have but something that mum wasn’t. Now I feel my body is ‘quieting’ a little as it is adjusting to this months present. Take care all and remember PMA…